More Trouble for Forestville’s Jellybean

Pine Lake Jellybean's last known whereabouts

Forestville’s favorite son has more problems.

According to sources about sunset last Friday, the man known only as “Jellybean” turned off of Pine Street and drove his road weary min-van to the home of his boss and employer Solomon Weeks.

Weeks rarely permits visitors to his modest home which is built in the shadows of the ESPN campus just off Birch street, but by 7PM, he had a full house of co-workers including Dan Blazjowski celebrating a new large snow plowing and landscaping contract.

Jellybean entered Solomon’s living room and after acknowledging the gathered guests he picked up the guitar that was on display above the fireplace.  Unable to find the sound he was looking he dropped the autographed six string Fender on the floor, and went to the kitchen in search of a drink.

Jellybean opened various beverages and drank from each one until he found a suitable cocktail.

Leaving the opened containers behind, he then took a bath and returned to the kitchen wearing just a bandanna around his head.

“Hey Blaz,” Jellybean eagerly said acknowledging his snow plowing partner. Grabbing Blazjowski affectionately Jellybean said it was good to see him but did he have any beer.  Blazjowski motioned with his head to the garage. Raising an eyebrow Jellybean darted to the garage to find an ale of his liking.

“I can’t believe it,” Solomon Weeks said to Blazjowski near the foyer. “Jelly came by just after Jeopardy and he’s been on fire since he got here.”

After returning from the garage and playing an impassioned game of Pictionary with Al Tunis, Bob Kneeper and several others, Jellybean began making long distance phone calls from the Week’s land line and ordered pizzas from several area establishments because he, Tunis and Kneeper were hungry.

After the pizzas arrived and Jellybean could not find anything suitable to drink he left the party.  He was last seen parked near Pine Lake early Saturday morning but has not been seensince.

 

 

Deavers Halloween Party

There is a great divide socially and economically when it comes to living in Forestville, you either live north of the railroad tracks or south of the railroad tracks, there is no in between.  However, when it comes to a party at the home of John and Barbara Deavers, Forestville’s most opulent couple, it does not matter where you reside in the village because for that brief moment we are all one.

It seemed as though all of Forestville attended the Deavers annual Halloween Party at their palatial estate last Saturday night.  The guest list included Audra and Solomon Weeks, Cookie Gension, Juan Gutierrez, Kletis Denim, Mitchell Luby and a date, Hank Lee Bowers and his wife Lisa, Mike Hill, Al Tunis, Bob Kneeper, Mr. and Mrs. Youch, Joe Kapperstein, Dewey Jasper, Norbert Pendleton, Zack Flanders, party crashers Maria Malvado and Silas Minutia, Larson Canover, Heather Ross and her husband Rick and countless others.

Unfortunately John Deavers was not in attendance because he was away on business, and what a shame because he missed another fantastic party thrown by his wife.  Their home was decorated in Halloween garb and the band hired for the night played a steady soundtrack of rock-n-roll hits from the 60s, 70s and 80s.

The best costume prize, which is very popular and brings out the best in Forestville’s residents creativity, went to garage mechanic Hank Lee Bowers.  Mr. Bowers attended the party dressed as a breathalyzer.

At the end of the evening Mrs. Deavers assured me their annual Christmas Party will go on without Mr. Deavers as he will be away.  She will conduct their carol sing through the streets of Forestville…north and south of the railroad tracks.

Forestville man finds image of Jesus Christ on potato chip

Forestville resident Al Tunis was eating from a can of Pringle Potato Chips yesterday when he claims he came upon a potato chip bearing the image of Jesus Christ, the son of God. “It looks kind of like the Jesus from the Shroud of Turin,” said a surprised Tunis. 

The potato chip clearly displays the image of a man with a beard and shoulder length hair.  Local church leaders had no coment nor did Pringles. 

Mr. Tunis denies he drew the image on the partially eaten potato chip, “How could I do that?  I don’t know how to draw.”  Uh huh.

Forestville has never experienced anything similar to this.  As the situation develops I will post updates.

AB

Telephone removed from former commuter lot

Former location of telephone

The pay phone located at the commuter lot located on Todd Street has been removed to make way for the Route 72 extension.  Area resident Al Tunis is distressed, “I loved that telephone.  I recall making many a call from that phone.  This is sad.”

Due to the popularity of cell phones (156 million American’s own a cell phone) the need for public pay phones has diminished.  The phone company has not decided if a telephone will be placed at another location within the village.

Village Resident does not like waiting rooms

Forestville resident Al Tunis will bring electronic game to doctor's office

Last year Al Tunis visited the eye doctor for his annual checkup and was disappointed with the waiting room.  “The magazines were all for chicks: People, Soap Opera Digest, and Fashion Trends.  I don’t read that stuff so I just there with a dumb look on my face and my hands folded nicely in my lap.  I hate doing that.  I looked like a dork,” said an angry Tunis.  “It is too hard to have an Automotive Weekly or Maxim Magazine just lying around.” 

 

Mr. Tunis fears the situation has not changed so he called the office manager and asked if he could bring his old electronic football game with him.  According to Al “It is a two player game played on a metal field (18X12) with miniature plastic players affixed to a magnetic base.  When the players are set up, a thumb switch is activated causing the field to vibrate and the players to move.  The team to score the most points via a touchdown, field goal or safety wins when time expires.”   

 

The doctor’s office had not responded to his inquiry. 

 

Forestville man makes telephone call, puzzled by busy signal

Webster Bank, Forestville branch

Early Wednesday afternoon Forestville resident Al Tunis telephoned the Forestville branch of Webster Bank, and received a busy signal.  “I don’t get it, said a frustrated Tunis.  “It usually rings and someone picks up but this time it just went bonk, bonk, bonk.” 

 

Mr. Tunis said he would try calling again later in the week.

 

Officials at Webster Bank were apologetic and urged Mr. Tunis to call again. 

 

The phone company had no comment. 

 

Mitchell Luby contributed to this story.