The Kenneth Snipps Question

A Kenneth Snipps letter

I have been delaying this post for awhile but I feel now is the time to address the Kenneth Snipps question because I every few weeks I receive e-mails asking the following: Who is Kenneth Snipps?

I do not profess to know Kenneth but I live in Forestville and so does he so that makes me an expert. To the best of my knowledge I have met him at various village functions or parties thrown by John and Barbara Deavers. So, for all you Snipps devotees, here is what I do know:

Kenneth Snipps is a short, timid and neatly dressed thirty something year old man with no family to speak of that I am aware. He is well mannered but he is shy and gullible. I don’t know where he works or his educational background.

According to his friend Toby Jacks, in the last year he had an accident requiring medical attention and a fire in his home. Kenneth also had or has a serious health issue the extent of which I do not know. Kenneth’s friends such as Norbert Pendleton will only say it is being treated and he is improving. Kenneth’s friends and associates tend to be very protective of him.

As for his letters, he sends them all over the world. I know this for a fact because I have received e-mail inquiries from Germany, England, Spain, Australia and Japan seeking information.

I do not know why he writes his letters but his friends tell me he does not own a telephone or have regular access to the internet so he must write letters and cards to communicate.

I have read his letters because his recipients send me scans, and in my opinion I believe that he believes everything he writes about.

I know this won’t answer everyone’s questions but I hope it helps.

 

 

Phyllis Vark to defend Mrs. Forestville title in 2011

Phyllis Vark 2010 promotional photo

Phyllis Vark the 2010 winner of the Mrs. Forestville contest announced today she will defend her title in 2011.  The Mrs. Forestville Beauty Pageant celebrates married women in Forestville and is held every February at Nuchie’s.  The participants are evaluated on cooking, cleaning, party preparation, general hygiene, punctuality and attractiveness.

Phyllis Vark, the married mother of three and wife to John Vark, hopes to be the first repeat champion since Barbara Deavers.

Past winners include Cookie Genison, Betty Potter and Barbara Deavers, a six time champion.

Deavers Halloween Party

There is a great divide socially and economically when it comes to living in Forestville, you either live north of the railroad tracks or south of the railroad tracks, there is no in between.  However, when it comes to a party at the home of John and Barbara Deavers, Forestville’s most opulent couple, it does not matter where you reside in the village because for that brief moment we are all one.

It seemed as though all of Forestville attended the Deavers annual Halloween Party at their palatial estate last Saturday night.  The guest list included Audra and Solomon Weeks, Cookie Gension, Juan Gutierrez, Kletis Denim, Mitchell Luby and a date, Hank Lee Bowers and his wife Lisa, Mike Hill, Al Tunis, Bob Kneeper, Mr. and Mrs. Youch, Joe Kapperstein, Dewey Jasper, Norbert Pendleton, Zack Flanders, party crashers Maria Malvado and Silas Minutia, Larson Canover, Heather Ross and her husband Rick and countless others.

Unfortunately John Deavers was not in attendance because he was away on business, and what a shame because he missed another fantastic party thrown by his wife.  Their home was decorated in Halloween garb and the band hired for the night played a steady soundtrack of rock-n-roll hits from the 60s, 70s and 80s.

The best costume prize, which is very popular and brings out the best in Forestville’s residents creativity, went to garage mechanic Hank Lee Bowers.  Mr. Bowers attended the party dressed as a breathalyzer.

At the end of the evening Mrs. Deavers assured me their annual Christmas Party will go on without Mr. Deavers as he will be away.  She will conduct their carol sing through the streets of Forestville…north and south of the railroad tracks.

Forestville prepared for Halloween

The center of Forestville circa October 29, 2010 3:15 PM.

The center of Forestville looks festive this Halloween season in anticipation of the pagan ritual celebrated by children and adults in costumes.

My wife and I are attending John and Barbara Deavers’ annual Halloween party.  I am going as The Hulk and she as “Recently Divorced Woman.”  Should I be worried?

 

Super Bowl Party at the Deavers’!

Super Bowl Party Plates

Well, it is official.  John and Barbara Deavers are having a Super Bowl Party this Sunday and most of Forestville should be there (I hope to run into Forestville’s own Kenneth Snipps and discuss those letters of his).  There will be plenty of food featuring chili, salsa, hot dogs, deviled eggs, pasta, Buffalo Wings and a snack table. 

 The party is to begin around 4 p.m. and will last into the night, long after the game has concluded.

Loverboy to ruin New Year’s celebration

Around the Village Today – New Year’s Party Update

 

 

Canadian rock group Loverboy scheduled to ruin New Year's

Barbara Deavers asked me to bring music to her “Auld Lang Syne” celebration.  She specifically requested 80s music from artists such as Journey, Bryan Adams and Loverboy.  Loverboy?  I don’t own any Loverboy music so I had to download it and now I have to live with that shame.  Thanks to her, the permanent search record on my computer now includes the word “Loverboy.”  I hope a monkey pees in her drink on New Year’s.

 

 

In a related matter, Zack Flanders is back in town.  Will he be at the party? I don’t know but from what I remember he is a Loverboy fan.  

 

AB

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Around the Village Today – New Year’s Eve Celebration in Forestville!

Around the Village Today

 

Today, snow likely with the Temperature around 32.  Northwest winds around 15 mph with gusts up to 30 mph.

 

Winter is here. 

 

New Year’s Eve Celebration in Forestville

In the mail yesterday I received my invitation to John and Barbara Deavers’ annual New Years Party.  All of Forestville’s high society should be there.  Did you get yours? 

 

Lightning Update

 

My story last week that Kenneth Snipps and Norbert Pendleton were struck by lightning may be wrong, well one part of it.  I received several e-mails stating it was Snipps and Toby Jacks (not Norbert Pendleton) that were in fact hit with a lightning strike.  Those with intimate knowledge of this story have not been available for comment.  I will keep trying.