General Electric Stove
Karen Blaylock burned the roast she was cooking early Tuesday evening because she forgot to set the timer. Family members were clearly disappointed, “I don’t know what is going on with her lately,” said her eldest son Charlie. This is the second time this year in which Blaylock has burned a dinner.
In a twenty-minute expletive-filled rant, Mrs. Blaylock blamed the miscue on her husband, the kids, the grocer, her mother in law, Rachael Ray, General Electric and everyone who reads this blog.
The blunder proved costly as the family of five resorted to take-out for dinner. “At least we knew she couldn’t burn that,” said one family member who wished to remain anonymous.
The potty-mouthed mother of three expressed her frustration with her family’s disappointment Saturday morning, “I don’t need their shit.”
Mr. Blaylock understands his wife’s frustration, “I suppose I could have helped set the table, but I was tired after a long day at the office. So I decided, ‘screw it’ and parked my ass on the couch instead.”
The family has decided to not give up on Mrs. Blaylock yet, allowing her to go ahead with plans for a family meal on Saturday with all the trimmings. But family officials would not rule out “Meals on Wheels” or “Dream Dinners” as a possible next step.
When asked to comment, Mrs. Blaylock suggested this reporter fornicate with a three-toed sloth.