Poor People are to blame for the Financial Crisis, says man

February 27, 2009
Wealthy citizens plan protest at Lincoln Memorial

Wealthy citizens plan protest at Lincoln Memorial

I ran into Mark Dresden today and that is always interesting.  Here is a report. 


Mark Dresden believes poor people are to blame for the current financial crisis “If poor people could have afforded their homes when they bought them this crisis would not have happened,” said Mr. Dresden.   


Dresden is organizing a march to the Lincoln Memorial to protest the treatment of wealthy people by poor people.  “They blame the rich for everything.  Well rich folks did not cause this,” said Dresden.  It is expected that several dozen well to do marchers will descend upon the memorial and hear speakers deriding welfare, social security, and numerous other New Deal programs.  Following the speeches they plan to picket homeless shelters and poor neighborhoods, “They need to be held accountable,” said Mr. Dresden.


Um, good luck. 



The state of Connecticut makes the top 5

February 3, 2009
Connecticut state capitol, Hartford (file photo AB)

Connecticut state capitol, Hartford (file photo AB)

A recent study completed by the Bureau of Vital Statistics concluded that the state of Connecticut with its great moderate climate, four seasons, and numerous hills is one of the top five states in New England.


“Do you know what this means?  More visitors to Forestville,” said an enthusiastic Heather Ross, President of the Forestville Tourism Association.  “Sure, some states may have better schools, reduced liability costs, and lower taxes.  And other states may brag about highway projects that finish on time, lower gasoline taxes and less regulation but we have lots of trees.”  According to the report a key to Connecticut’s status is the fact that the leaves on their trees change color in the fall too. 


The states were graded on tourism, ecology, roads, environment, and taxes. 


The bureau made note that there are only six states in New England, but while naming Connecticut, New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine and Massachusetts to the top five list, they did not publish the name of the state that did not make the list.  Sorry Rhode Island.  Oops, did I just do that? 


A spokesperson for Connecticut Governor M. Jodi Rell said she was thrilled with the report. 


Gavin Peppers upset with airline industry, no nylons on airplanes

February 3, 2009
No nylons on this airplane

No nylons on this airplane

I bumped into Gavin yesterday and he is not happy with the airline industry.  Following his return from Disney World in Florida, Mr. Peppers dispatched a harsh letter to Delta Airlines.  The 450-word tirade complained of seats that were too close together, leaving no elbow or leg room.  The experience was exacerbated by a passenger seated next to him, who smelled of saline.


Also, Mr. Peppers letter viciously criticized the flight attendants for not wearing any hosiery, “Tell your flight attendants that slacks suck.  When I fly on an airplane I expect to see nice stockings not crappy acrylic pants.”


Um, good luck there Gavin!


Steelers to win Super Bowl, the NFL will make sure

February 1, 2009


I don’t usually do this but I could not help myself today.  I am bored and need a drink, badly.

Attention Pittsburgh Steelers fans! Don’t worry your team will win the Super Bowl today and the NFL will see to it.


Super Bowl XLIII between the Arizona Cardinals and the Pittsburgh Steelers will be played today but not on an equal playing field.  The owners, the Rooney family have owned the team forever.  So, alas every controversial call in a big call goes their way.  Let’s take a look at their history in big spots, shall we?


The Immaculate Reception: December 23, 1972.  With under 30 seconds to go in this AFC playoff game against the Oakland Raiders, Pittsburgh Quarterback Terry Bradshaw drops back to pass on 4th and ten from his own 40 yard line. Scrambling to his right he unloads a pass downfield. The ball hits Running Back John Fuqua in the helmet and ricochets backward fifteen yards.  It is caught in the air by his teammate Franco Harris. Franco scampers down the sideline for a Pittsburgh touchdown.  At the time it was illegal for two players on the same team to touch the ball but not on this day.  Steelers win 13-7! 


Super Bowl IX:  The Minnesota Vikings score a touchdown late in the 4th quarter to narrow the score 9-6, Pittsburgh. The Steelers take the ensuing kickoff and on third and 2 from the Vikings 38, Bradshaw completes a pass to Tight end Larry Brown. The ball is knocked loose by cornerback Jackie Wallace and Minnesota recovers it on their own 28 yard line.   However, it is not ruled a fumble and Pittsburgh maintains possession.  Steelers drive continues and ends with a touchdown putting the game out of reach. Steelers win 16-6!


1978 AFC Championship Game: Late in the third quarter Houston Oilers Quarterback Dan Pastorini throws a pass to the back of the end zone to wide receiver Mike Renfro, and he appears to catch it for a touchdown.  But officials say no, he is out of bounds.  Replays clearly show Renfro got both feet in bounds.  Oilers settle for a field goal. Steelers win 27-13!


Super Bowl XIII: From his own 44 yard line Quarterback Terry Bradshaw throws a ball up for grabs on third and ten.  Wide receiver Lynn Swann trips Dallas defender Benny Barnes and they both fall – penalty Cowboys. First down on the Cowboys 23 yard line.  A couple of plays later Franco scores on a twenty two yard run. Steelers win 35-31!


Super Bowl XL: Where to start but why bother?  We all remember.


So rest easy Steelers country or Steelers nation whatever you call yourselves, when it comes time for a controversial play today, you will get the call. You always do.


Steelers 27 Cardinals 16.