Jellybean, the popular Forestville snow plow driver for a local plowing company, called in sick to work during the last snow storm because he needed to see the film Black Swan, according to unnamed sources.
In recent weeks, Jellybean has been prone to a variety of illnesses and ailments which has resulted in the use of a hangover bag being applied to his neck during work hours. Jellybean was scheduled to work during the peak of the last snow storm when he advised his co-worker Dan Blazjowski “I can’t do it dude.”
Blazjowski called his supervisor Larson Canover and told him to meet them at the shop. There was a problem.
Within a half-hour the key parties were in place, Jellybean, Blazjowski, Canover and Canover’s supervisor Solomon Weeks. Jellybean, standing six foot three and weighing well over 350 pounds, got up from his metal chair and helped himself to Canover’s Diet Coke and kept the hangover bag applied to his neck while he lit up a cigarette. His sixth so far.
“I can’t do it.” Jellybean said as the room filled with smoke. He could not plow these types of roads anymore. He knew it. They knew it. Everyone knew it. Besides he wanted to go to the movies and watch the Black Swan. A psychological thriller based around Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake starring Natalie Portman, formally of Star Wars and currently playing in movie houses across the country.
Blazjowski recognized that Jellybean was snowed out. A condition known among snow plow drivers when they have had it with plowing – hence the hangover bag and this late hour meeting.
Jellybean paced about Canover’s office, helping himself to his food and drink while he rambled on in a frazzled state trying to explain his position and anxiety. He told the assembled group that he had been up the previous night playing hangman and thinking about ballet.
Based on these revelations it was decided Jellybean would immediately be put on administrative leave so he could go to the theatre and watch Black Swan. It is not known when he will return to work.