Forestville snow plow driver put on administrative leave due to the film Black Swan

February 22, 2011

Jellybean the snow plow driver

Jellybean, the popular Forestville snow plow driver for a local plowing company, called in sick to work during the last snow storm because he needed to see the film Black Swan, according to unnamed sources.

In recent weeks, Jellybean has been prone to a variety of illnesses and ailments which has resulted in the use of a hangover bag being applied to his neck during work hours. Jellybean was scheduled to work during the peak of the last snow storm when he advised his co-worker Dan Blazjowski “I can’t do it dude.”

Blazjowski called his supervisor Larson Canover and told him to meet them at the shop.  There was a problem.

Within a half-hour the key parties were in place, Jellybean, Blazjowski, Canover and Canover’s supervisor Solomon Weeks. Jellybean, standing six foot three and weighing well over 350 pounds, got up from his metal chair and helped himself to Canover’s Diet Coke and kept the hangover bag applied to his neck while he lit up a cigarette. His sixth so far.

“I can’t do it.” Jellybean said as the room filled with smoke. He could not plow these types of roads anymore. He knew it. They knew it. Everyone knew it. Besides he wanted to go to the movies and watch the Black Swan. A psychological thriller based around Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake starring Natalie Portman, formally of Star Wars and currently playing in movie houses across the country.

Blazjowski recognized that Jellybean was snowed out. A condition known among snow plow drivers when they have had it with plowing – hence the hangover bag and this late hour meeting.

Jellybean paced about Canover’s office, helping himself to his food and drink while he rambled on in a frazzled state trying to explain his position and anxiety. He told the assembled group that he had been up the previous night playing hangman and thinking about ballet.

Based on these revelations it was decided Jellybean would immediately be put on administrative leave so he could go to the theatre and watch Black Swan. It is not known when he will return to work.


Is this what you call a winter storm?

February 21, 2011

File photo. More snow?

Residents of the ville awoke this morning to 3-5 inches of fresh snow. The snow began falling around midnight and is expected to last until mid-day. I have two thoughts.  One – thank you Mother Nature for only giving us 3-5 inches this time. Two – Puhlease. Is this all you got?

This, so far, has been a record setting winter.  No doubt Mother Nature is PMSing. Or, she is going through a change if life.  If that is the case, why is she giving us a break?




Post Office roof leaking…again

February 11, 2011

Bucket Brigade

There are three things in life you can count on: Death, taxes and the roof at the Forestville Post Office to leak.  I visited the post office last week and noticed water buckets lined up and ready for work.  At that time I assumed it was just a one day event. Well, I was wrong because this morning while purchasing stamps the buckets were still there capturing water.

It was only last year that the Ville’s the post office was closed due to leaky roof as water was saturating the post office boxes.  With all that snow we have had this winter season this is only a prelude of things to come for the spring.

No gas wars in Forestville…yet

February 3, 2011


Cumberland Farms Gas

Gas prices have slowly increased over the last few months.  But a review of the three Forestville gas stations show no signs of a gas war between them as prices at all three are $3.21 a gallon for 87 octane.  That’s too bad because I was hoping a gas war would develop and distract us from what has been a dismal winter.


CITGO Gas in Forestville

Forestville Ravaged by Another Winter Storm

February 1, 2011

East Main Street Forestville late this afternoon.

Schools closed….Roads impassable…and snow – just another day in Forestville this winter as the village is ravaged by another winter storm.

Residents brave enough to venture out in this storm will find a torturous commute awaiting them.  Forestville’s secondary roads, already beset with narrow passage ways, remained mostly unplowed at this hour making navigation dangerous for motorists.

Forestville’s most traveled roads, Route 72 and E. Main Street, are barely plowed and traffic is slow moving.

Some businesses sent workers home early.

Forestville schools closed today and could be closed tomorrow due to the icy conditions predicted for later.

Weather experts say this storm will last two days with snow today and an icy mix beginning tonight, which will last through mid-day tomorrow before turning back to snow.

Phase One is over.  Phase Two, which will pack a more severe punch, come on down!

Bitter cold conditions are to follow this weather event.  Oh yah.

Here we go again

February 1, 2011

Forestville residents prepare for another winter storm

A major storm will strike Forestville over the next two days bringing with it 8-14 inches of snow and an icy mix of sleet and freezing rain, which could compromise many roofs and result in power outages.  This storm stretches across most of the country with blizzard conditions in the mid-west.

The Stop & Shop on Pine Street was crowded yesterday afternoon in anticipation of the storm with long lines for food and gas.