Consulting Firm Scared to Present Budget Ideas to City Hall

Pie Chart courtesy of Landry, Issel and Escalanté

Pie Chart courtesy of Landry, Issel and Escalanté

Due to a tight budget and a slow economy, City Hall is looking for new revenue streams.

Concerned about budget cuts and the effects they will have on the city, Landry, Issel and Escalanté, a Forestville based consulting firm, prepared an unsolicited report for the city recommending several areas where revenue can be raised, which are not tax based.

Many communities have raised fees, fines and taxes to close budget shortfalls, but the report concludes fines and tax increases are passé.

The report outlines a plan to ease parking concerns at City Hall with valet parking. It will raise revenue, ease congestion and look cool. “Vehicles parked by valets will require a charge assessed to customers but it will boost our image and self-esteem too,” the report concludes.

Valet parking is cool

Valet parking is cool

There are many wonderful parks in the city and there is no charge to use their facilities. However, one idea is to not only have an entrance fee but an exit fee too.

Another proposal they are excited for is a donation bucket. Taxpayers, while visiting City Hall, can drop their loose change and dollar bills into buckets in the various department offices. The donations will be used to fund various city projects.

Other ideas include 50/50 raffles and car washes, a Sadie Hawkins Dance (where residents can dance with their favorite local politician if they are willing to pay), and candy drives requiring children of city employees to go door to door selling candy bars.

The report is complete but remains unpublished because Landry, Issel and Escalanté are afraid to present their ideas to town leaders because they are shy and awkward.

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Donate!

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