On the heels of a new park ordinance which added numerous restrictions to behavior in city parks, town councilors are considering more restrictions, including limiting the amount of talking that takes place in parks.
According to City Councilor Calvin Brown, “All humans recycle the carbon dioxide they inhale when they exhale. Do you know what that does to the environment? No? Neither do I so until we know for certain we need to limit the talking in public parks to save the environment.”
Another idea receiving attention is the banning of off color jokes and jokes people do not understand. A board or commission will be appointed in order to determine what is humorous for the residents of Forestville and Bristol, should the ordinance be adopted.
“Laughter can be scary when you do not know why people are laughing,” Councilor Brown remarked. “Are they laughing at you? Are they laughing at me? Why are they laughing? Should they be laughing? Should I be laughing? As a council we think restrictions on laughter and humor in general must be set in place.”
Mr. Brown confessed laughter and verbal communication are healthy outlets for humans but wondered if they are they are being used at the expense of humanity.
Other ideas under consideration for public parks: no running, no walking and no acts of joy or playing in areas which contain grass, no eye contact, and no getting wet while swimming in a park pool, stream or pond. If these measures are adopted violators will be fined, imprisoned or worse.