The Games Begin


Calvin Brown, a popular democratic town councilman, recently purchased a home outside of his voting district due to a personal matter and will reside there once his current home is sold. This has caused quite a stir in local political circles because it may preclude him from completing his term.

Republican leaders believe this makes sense since Mr. Brown is now a foreigner working illegally in a district in which he is not a resident.

The public is split about the predicament. Noted vagrant Tom Hasbro said, “I may finally run for Town Council now that whosamawhatsit is out of there. I got great plans for the city, including free beer for people whose name ends in Bro”.

Others, like Forestville’s most popular girl in high school Marjorie Millsap, think it doesn’t matter where a councilman lives as long as he is a Democrat. “I would also be in favor of him if he were Leonardo DiCaprio. His experience in Titanic makes him well prepared to serve no matter where he lives.”

Latham Eikel a spokesperson for Derek Czenczelewski, the city GOP leader who outed Mr. Brown’s real estate transaction, remarked, “It’s also morally reprehensible that Mr. Brown would betray his district and take up with that other district across town. I hope there is a special election!”

Sarah Palin, possible Council District 1 candidate

Sarah Palin, possible Council District 1 candidate

Rumors abound as to who would run in an election to fill Mr. Brown’s seat. Republicans are currently pushing for Sarah Palin as she would thin out the deer herds that hunters claim are rampaging through the Forestville and Bristol streets.

The local head of the Democrat party is considering running a Syrian refugee. Said the head, “They’re here already. We got to find something for them to do.”



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