How to do an Ambush

Ambush

Since the town council meeting on January 12, which saw republican operatives ambush a democratic town councilor regarding his purchase of a property outside the district he was elected to represent, many residents want to know how to do an ambush.

According to the National Coalition of Deception & Concealment, which specializes in ambushing, the one executed on the 12th was text book. Insiders say there are four key components that must be followed and were followed that made it a model of success.

1) Be Stealthy

Stealth

Stealth

Stay inconspicuously in the background and wait to spring it and pounce. The element of surprise must be on your side so be cool, patience is the key.

2) The Setup i.e. The Misdirect

Misdirect 01

Pretend you are there for another reason by lavishing audience members with compliments and admiration to distract and put them at ease. Then, drop your payload, the crushing boom lands and you watch the carnage.

3) Blame the Victim

Blame 02

Yes, it is some-what sneaky, what you are doing but stay on message, eventually people will forget. Lemmings, and those that share your ideology, will get in line and have your back.

4) Play Stupid

stupid

Playing stupid is fun and always a hoot, just look around. So, when questioned why you did it say things like, “Huh what do you mean? What are you talking about? What did I do?” Other favorites include “I was merely doing this or I was merely doing that.”

Experts concede ambushing is high risk, high reward, but is a good tactic to use in order to take advantage of a situation, an opponent, friends, coworkers and people you just don’t like because they simply don’t share your views.

AB

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4 Responses to How to do an Ambush

  1. Mike Uchalid says:

    Reblogged this on Bristol Roundup and commented:
    Check out the latest satire from Alan Boardman’s Forestville Blog.

  2. Debbie Schur says:

    Especially love the “stupid” part.

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