Newsdesk 01

From the Forestville NewsDesk.

Dateline Saturday March 19, 2016. Alan Boardman reporting.

Fortune Teller

Fortune

Forestville resident Mora Casabian recently canceled her subscription to Fortune Teller Magazine, complaining to friends she said, “It reads me while I read it.”

Suspicious

Recently, a suspicious looking car drove down a suspicious looking road and passed a suspicious-looking person in a highly suspicious section of Forestville, police said late Friday.

The car drove off, the person walked away but the road remains at large. Apparently no one was hurt during the incident.

Unknown Relic Remains Safely Unknown

Uknown

An unknown historic relic that has gone undiscovered remains unknown and undiscovered, according to Forestville historian Elgin Plinth.

Mr. Plinth speaking at the Forestville Historical Society intimated that he does not know what the artifact is or where it is, but he is close to finding it.

Woman Dissatisfied with Book

Sketch

Libby Baggins visited Borders and purchased a book called Sketchbook and was disappointed. “I thought it would contain famous sketches and drawings, but when I brought it home and opened it I discovered that every page was completely blank. Who sells a book with blank pages?” she asked.

Correction to the article, Unknown Relic Remains Safely Undiscovered:

It was stated that Mr. Plinth did not know where the artifact is, but he plans on finding it soon.

This should be corrected to read:
A man in Plainville did find the relic and Mr. Plinth plans on stealing it from him soon.

Moreover, the statement:
An unknown historic relic that has gone undiscovered…
Should be changed to:
An unknown relic that has absolutely no historical significance has gone undiscovered due to lack of interest by archaeologists…

Speed of Sound

speed of sound

Lastly, I am not sure I like the idea of these hypersonic passenger jets they are developing. How do you carry on a conversation when traveling faster than the speed of sound?

Later…

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