Legendary heavy metal musician Ozzy Osbourne went missing several days ago after reports surfaced that his wife Sharon threw him out of their LA home because he had an extramarital affair with a hairdresser.
Rumors immediately began to spread that Ozzy fled to Forestville and residents were excited that the English singer and television personality was in town.
“Maybe he can score me some top notch drugs” mused one.
Added another, “He can join my band because, like we need a singer this weekend.”
One more offered, “Ozzy is still alive?”
It was later learned that the Ozzy Osbourne to Forestville rumor was just a joke because he was spotted in LA, but one resident is not convinced. “We’ve got Syrian refugees here so why wouldn’t Ozzy come to Forestville.”