New Security Precautions at City Hall

Coming Soon?

Coming Soon?

Due to security concerns, measures were introduced this week to strengthen security to City Hall.

However, a study conducted by Landry, Issel and Escalanté, a Forestville based consulting firm specializing in superfluous studies, believes the security measures implemented are not strong enough.

Their unsolicited report recommends installing barbed wire fences around the building, sandbags at the entrances, guard towers on the parking garage, spotlights across the street and manned machine gun nests on the roof.

Additional ideas include installing full body scanners, banning laughter and smiling, and charging an admission fee to the building.

The authors of the study concluded that the city should eventually not allow visitors or employees access to City Hall because an empty building would “probably” eliminate the threat of threats.

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