Poll: Pundits Predict “Suicide Squirrel” Top Story for 2016

Squirrel 01

A survey of news organizations throughout Forestville has them nominating the issue of the suicidal squirrel as the one that will most grip the village this year.

https://alanboardman.wordpress.com/2016/04/30/local-squirrel-on-suicide-watch/

“I don’t know how we can top that,” said a reporter for the Bristol Observer. “Right now we’re in a bidding war with the Hartford Courant to get exclusive coverage from a neighbor’s lawn of the wretched rodent and his existential crisis.”

A resident AP correspondent was more enthusiastic. “It’s great that Forestville finally has a story that can go nationwide and get me promoted,” he said off the record, though it was printed here anyway.

But a writer for the Bristol Press threw water on the entire story stating, “Well unless the squirrel is arrested and charged with a crime we won’t cover it. Not even as Breaking News or as an Obituary.”

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