The City of Bristol is conducting a study of Route 6/Farmington Avenue to determine its future use.
Residents celebrated the news with fireworks, church bells, frolicking and games of joy when they heard there would be yet another study of the legendary road.
Said one resident, “Wow! How did we get so lucky again?”
The current study is being facilitated by the consulting firm of Fitzgerald & Halliday from Hartford. They were hired because City Planners were impressed that they can do PowerPoint.
The firm began the process by soliciting ideas from the public and ideas have been pouring in from all over.
The Bristol Bureau of Tourism recommended changing the name of Farmington Avenue. A spokesperson stated, “Why are we giving away free advertising to that snooty town? The name suggests Bristol is merely a gateway to West Farms Mall. Therefore, we recommend renaming it Bristol Avenue and making it a cul de sac so people can’t drive to Farmington from here.”
The Chamber of Commerce suggested renaming Farmington Avenue to Dunkin Donuts Avenue. “There are so many Dunkin Donuts on this road they should be us paying naming rights,” their e-mail quipped.
Local art aficionado Alvar von Aachen made it known that he wants an abstract piece of art “that everyone will hate” near the Terryville border or a “hovel with a crazy character living in it like every other famous road does.”
A citizen simply named D. Malloy advocated the installation of tolls. In fact “numerous tolls” was his exact comment.
One fancy pants attorney wants all the homes seized through eminent domain so they can be developed by his clients for commercial purposes.
Doug Loogie however, strongly urged a Porn Palace be built expeditiously on “the ave” to replace the one that just went out of business. “One would be good, two would be better” he wrote.
And old timer Bartismus Fink weighed in and proposed Route 6/Farmington Avenue be narrowed to one lane, and that the entire Stop & Shop Plaza (originally Bristol Shopping Plaza) be demolished and returned to its former glory – a wooded swamp.
City officials say the study could take several months or numerous weeks, whichever comes first.