City officials recently raised the mill rate by 4.1 percent and unanimously agreed to name it the 2016/2017 Ebenezer Barnes Tax Hike.
“Mr. Barnes was the first settler in Bristol,” city council spokesperson Edward “Eddie” Edwards stated before gathered media. “Interestingly, the head of the budget committee said his forefather was a buddy of Barnes and was at his side before he died. Barnes told him that he regretted not living long enough to see the day when Bristol would pass a 4.1 percent increase in the mill rate. This is our opportunity to honor his memory and keep his spirit alive.”
Expectations are that there will be a significant state deficit next year which will result in the need for substantial tax increases locally once again. The city anticipates that the revelation that Mr. Barnes aspired for citizens to be taxed more will ease any upset over the hike.
Residents could see other increases in fees and services. The water bill will be raised with the upcoming Nehemiah Manross fee hike, named after another city founder who supposedly loved water. This will be followed by the Yacky the Cockatoo Dump Fee Increase. “Yacky is a very popular star on YouTube and so cute,” Edwards said. “So we expect this fee change to be extremely popular especially amongst kids.”