Forestville Mathematician Out of Control

math 01

Teenagers in the Pine Street area are complaining about local mathematician Boris Gorki.

The teens claim Mr. Gorki is driving through their neighborhood blasting his car stereo with the music of Bach and Beethoven. “He cruises by in his Prius playing classical music at a 1000 decibels, making it so you can’t even listen to Kanye or Drake in your own home,” complained one of the boys. “The violins make the car vibrate,” observed another. “He should be careful because that could hurt his ears.”

Parents say he is flashing linear algebra signs at the kids during his neighborhood drive too, including a cube root (3√a), sigma (∑) and a delta (∆). “What is wrong with this guy?” asked one parent. “Who does algebra hand signals especially a congruent to (≅)? It is so unhip.”

Dante Flores, a father of three girls and a boy, said he is taking note and looking ahead. “I don’t trust ’em. Not gonna let one of them shifty eyed thrill seeking mathematicians driving a Prius marry my daughters. That’s for gosh darned sure. No freaking way!”

Mr. Gorki was unavailable for comment.

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