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A highly-anticipated special meeting of the Bristol City Council was held Monday night regarding the mayor’s improprieties.

Residents were on edge wondering if the council would impose a punishment. Rumors have been swirling of a possible coup d’état or a military junta being installed by opposition forces. Martial law was not declared but citizens were instructed to remain indoors and listen to the radio or watch TV for instructions.

Once the meeting began councilors adjourned themselves to the Chamber of Seclusion to discuss possible disciplinary action. City Hall sources said that while taking turns wearing the Cone of Decision, councilors discussed taking away the mayor’s soundproof office, prohibiting him from attending ribbon-cutting ceremonies, and bulldozing a highlight of his administration the seldom used grass herbage, which lies within the ruins of the former mall site; known colloquially known as The Patch.

The Patch

The Patch

Following two excruciating hours, during which time residents sat nervously by the radio and television waiting to hear the mayor’s fate, councilors emerged from the Chamber of Seclusion, tired, weary and worn, but without a verdict.

The six council members, despite each wearing the Cone of Decision, decided to table the matter until next week. A spokesperson for the mayor expressed his frustration with the situation, “Let’s just be done with it already so the mayor can not only get on with serving the good people of Bristol and Forestville, but the bad ones as well.”


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