Recent Developments in the Presidential Race: Hillary Doing Fine


Following concerns over presidential candidate Hillary Clinton’s health, a consensus of doctors and global warming scientists declare that Mrs. Clinton is fit to continue her election run. The concerns erupted after incidents where the former Secretary of State suffered long repeated coughing fits, had trouble mounting stairs and almost collapsed while suffering from influenza.

One doctor, Dr. George Whiteman said, “There is no question that for a person in her 70s with influenza, balance issues and a persistent cough, she is in excellent shape. We have no reason to worry about her health.”

However new worries emerged when a camera caught a stiff Mrs. Clinton hitting signs and light posts as campaign aides carried her into a waiting limo. This has led to speculation that she is now dead.

Clinton staffer Huma Abedin called the allegations “absurd” and that her doctors say “it’s normal for anyone who suffered influenza to appear dead.” She made the comments to reporters, while Mrs. Clinton relaxed in the background, lying stiffly on a couch in what Mrs. Aberdin said was an intense yoga position.

One Clinton supporter railed against the media speculation. “She’s the most qualified person to be president. If she’s dead too, that only adds to her resume. Our greatest presidents are also dead, but no one holds that against them. It’s probably because they’re men.”

For now, Mrs. Clinton is canceling all public appearances until further notice to rest up “and get some life back in her legs.”

Stay semi-informed with Alan Boardman’s semi-comprehensive 2016 election coverage.


One Response to Recent Developments in the Presidential Race: Hillary Doing Fine

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