Gary Johnson Can’t Find Forestville on Map


First, Libertarian presidential candidate Gary Jonson was unfamiliar with the war-torn Syrian City of Aleppo.

Three weeks later he could not name a foreign leader when questioned during a televised town hall.

And now comes word that he was unable find the Village of Forestville on a map!

Johnson, appearing at a campaign event, was asked by reporters to point to Forestville on a map of Connecticut. He slowly bowed his head in shame and embarrassingly confessed, “Sorry I can’t do it.”

He then conceded that he did not know Forestville was a village in Bristol; that it has plentiful jobs, high-quality housing and schools, and its people are hardworking and industrious. Nor did he know that in 2015, the town experienced a surge in lovable pets and beautiful scenery leading Beautiful Towns and Gardens magazine to presciently call it, “The Most Beautiful Town Gary Johnson’s Never Heard Of.”

However, he did know marijuana consumption causes the munchies, and that there is more than one way to light a joint.

While Governor Johnson didn’t know facts that are common knowledge like the names of world leaders or America’s 270th most populous village (Forestville), a survey showed the average voter didn’t know who Gary Johnson was either.

Stay semi-informed with Alan Boardman’s semi-comprehensive 2016 election coverage.


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