Debate Review

debate-02

The Bristol Chamber of Commerce hosted a debate for local state Senate and House of Representatives candidates Monday night at St. Paul. Due to a prior obligation I was not able to attend. However, The Mole did and here are his observations.

All times EDT

5:50
Lots of local celebrities here mingling. Politicians, Facebook stars and big shots. I left my autograph book at home. Bummer.

6:00
Debate starts. Did I turn off the lights at the house?

6:04
Laura Bartok’s opening statement is really….oooo. My stomach is queasy. Wonder if the bathroom is occupied right now?

6:08
Feeling better but lost my seat. What did I miss?

6:10
Good sign. Unlike the mayoral debate here last year, no constant ruffling of papers by one of the participants.

6:15
Henri Martin reminds me of Harry Truman. Give’em hell Henri!

6:16
Time to play Words With Friends because he really isn’t answering the question. What was the question?

6:24
30 point Word! Sweet!

6:25
Nicastro! Wait for it…Beep! Beep! Beep! What is it with that buzzer?

6:28
Pretty sure I turned the lights off.

6:30
Intermission.

6:40
Hard to see right now. Chasing a couple of Skittles I dropped under my seat.

6:42
Great now I have a searing headache. Checking with the women next to me for Tylenol. Oh man I think she fell asleep. Should I wake her? She appears to be a reporter.

6:45
Now she’s hushing me. She’s the one who fell asleep in the first place!

7:00
Possibly the most personally frustrating debate I’ve ever been to. I could go for a sandwich. This is a high school. Is the caf open? Maybe they have some pimento bread.

7:10
How hard would it be to call a timeout right now and ask the moderator to repeat the last question?

7:11
Just got the word from two rows back the caf is not open. Major buzzkill.

7:12
Losing interest.

7:15
Press photographer is leaving he’s had it.

7:20
Is this debate still going on? Wish someone would text me. I never get texts when I want them. I definitely didn’t finish brushing my teeth before coming here. I can feel a bit of food right under my gum.

7:25
Mr. Del Mastro is about to make his closing comments. He speaks very well and has a few ideas worth considering. It is a good idea that he didn’t….uh oh spoke too soon. He whipped out a piece a paper. Oh Jesus here it comes brace for impact another manifesto.

7:26
There is no way I turned the lights off because they are on a timer and it’s broken. Time to go.

The Mole

The election is Tuesday November 8, 2016. Stay informed with Alan Boardman’s semi-comprehensive election coverage.

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