Is There Voting After Death?

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With many reports of dead people voting in elections, one local researcher is calling this not fraud, but actual acts from the next life.

Yale parapsychology professor Dr. Emma Cramps has long specialized in research on the habits of the dead. In her recently published book, “Dead But Not Done Living”, she outlined the many ways in which the dead are still with us, though in hiding.

So she was not surprised that past elections show many ballots cast by the dead. “We know that ghosts are manifestations of dead people who have unfinished business left in this world. Such unfinished business logically could include voting. As well, some elections may be regarded by the dead as too important to leave to just the living.”

A recent séance by astrologer Mimi Harrison confirms this theory. “I was waving my hand all around a crystal ball and all I can hear is this voice saying to me, it says, ‘Never Trump! Never Trump!’ Of course I knew in an instant I was channeling the spirit of FDR or Charles Goren, the bridge expert.”

Trump supporters point out that the dead always vote Democrat and claim that it is a sure sign that it is fraud that can easily be stopped by a voter ID law. However, experts point out that it would be discriminatory since the dead have trouble obtain valid photo IDs due to a lack of spirit photographers at the DMV.

The contentious subject may end up at the Supreme Court, which is also taking up other contentious issues such as whether bubble gum should be classified as a vegetable and if sports cars are implicitly racist.

The election is Tuesday November 8, 2016. Stay informed with Alan Boardman’s semi-comprehensive election coverage.

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