The Undead Are Voting!

The undead headed to the poles

The undead headed to the poles

In an unprecedented incident, hundreds of deceased but registered voters rose from their crypts early Tuesday, and made their way to polling places in Bristol and Forestville wanting to vote in what historians are calling, “the most important election since that last most important election.”

Looking disheveled, pale and dirty the undead began arriving to vote shortly after the poles opened. Most were turned away however because they did not have a valid voter ID.

Polling places were not prepared for the crush of reanimated voters waiting in line so they did not have enough I Voted Today stickers to go around. Several fracases erupted due to the shortage.

Many of the living voters were put off by the psychotic state of the corpses because they slowly limped their way through the line with their arms held out straight in front of them while they groaned non-stop.

No exit polling data is available to determine which way the reanimated voter is voting.

Stay informed all day with Alan Boardman’s semi comprehensive Election Day coverage.

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