With the election over, President-elect Donald Trump outlined his plans for his administration. As Democrats repeatedly predicted during the campaign, his first order of business will be to deport all people who look Mexican or eat Mexican food. Plans will also go forward to keep out other immigrants by building a U.S.-Mexican border wall and stocking the Rio Grande full of piranhas.
To reduce the cost of federal poverty programs like WIC, HUD and Medicaid, the Trump administration will hold Hunger Games contests, consistent with Trump’s admiration for President Snow.
As Rachel Maddow warned before her heart attack when the election was called, Trump admitted he is in fact the leader of the KKK and announced the sites where he will install death camps for blacks, gays, immigrants and anyone that has mocked him. Local Republicans have been tapped to help in building the cattle cars in which these groups will be packed for shipment.
Trump also gave the go ahead to his transition team for all women to start being oppressed and sexually harassed.
Trump came up with the plans after consulting with his now not-secret boss, Vladimir Putin. Trump reminded critics that his finger is now on the nuclear button as well as a second button that activates the Trump Death Ray satellite that he just launched into space on his rocket “Trump Won.”