– DATA VERIFIES HANNITY IS A DOUCHE
– SCIENTISTS SET TO PINPOINT EXACT DATE
– EXPERT WARNS POSSISBILITY EXISTS HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A DOUCHE
After months of investigating scientists at Tunxis Community College and Central Connecticut State University will announce next week exactly when radio and television host Sean Hannity officially became a “douche”, according to sources with the colleges. A “douche” by definition is an obnoxious or contemptible person and is generally regarded as a jerk; usually a man.
Scientists in the physics research labs began investigating Mr. Hannity early this year after they repeatedly noted his increasingly “jerk like” behavior. “Sean always seemed a good guy but somewhere along the way he changed and became a douche. The possibility existed too that he had always been a douche. We needed to find out,” said Project Leader, Higgs Beall.
Their announcement lead to a firestorm of speculation as to when he became a douche.
* When he justified Donald Trump’s sexiest behavior? or;
* When he accused Megyn Kelly of supporting Clinton? or;
* When he backed Cliven Bundy? or;
* When he wanted to replace Paul Ryan as Speaker for not endorsing Trump? or;
* When he said Lindsay Graham deserved to have Trump release his private phone number? or;
* When he used statistics from a satirical website about Syrian refugees coming to the U.S.? or;
* When he offered to be waterboarded for charity and then didn’t? or…
It is presently not clear if Mr. Hannity will appear when the announcement is made.
Another set of scientists at Post University in Waterbury is examining when MSNBC host Rachel Maddow became a Know it All.