Thank God for Ivanka!


President-elect Donald Trump wants his eldest daughter Ivanka to play a prominent role in his administration. What that role would be was unclear until yesterday.

Mr. Trump will soon name his daughter Co Vice-President. Trump created the position for her because she is great, telling the traveling press corps, “Ivanka is great so really, really great. No one better. Ever. She will be a great co vice president. Trust me.” The current Vice President-elect Mike Pence agreed to share the title of Vice President and duties with Ivanka because she is in fact great.

Since the election Ivanka, a working mother of three children, has participated in meetings with heads of state, arranged numerous meetings for her father and made phone calls to members of Congress regarding potential legislation on child care, an issue she will focus on. Consequently Ms. Trump will have offices in the East Wing and West Wing of the White House so she can take on First Lady duties (while her stepmother stays in New York) and be a close advisor to the president. But her responsibilities and duties will not end there.

When it becomes necessary for the soon to be president to fly she will take the controls and pilot Air Force One and Marine One too. “I am sure the pilots are good but she is the best,” Trump told reporters. She will fill in and drive the presidential motorcade on an as needed basis as well.

And, according to sources, when she is not transporting the president via car, airplane or helicopter or being Co Vice-President or assuming the job of First Lady, she will conduct covert espionage against hostile enemies in the field to keep Americans and its allies safe from foreign governments, terrorists and other unknown threats.

“Ivanka is redefining the role of working mothers, first daughters and humans. She will personally make America great again,” observed Trump’s former campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway.


2 Responses to Thank God for Ivanka!

  1. Your best post ever. Thank you!

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