Primal Void, a Forestville based cult, is soliciting applicants for membership this month, according to their spokesperson and leader Altair.
Altair, also known as Bucky Weaver, is the owner of Bucky’s Pawnshop on Broad Street (open 9-5 daily except Sunday) when not the hypersensitive and arrogant head of the cult. He said new followers must be open to ritualistic abuse, coerced confessions, manipulation and be able to take shorthand.
“I am not a god or a deity or even demigod. I am just your average run of the mill cult leader who demands obedience and loyalty from his followers and is intolerant of criticism,” Altair remarked.
Primal Void’s aim is to attract new followers especially women into their isolated world. They will have the opportunity to be manipulated, controlled and mentally enslaved personally by Altair. “We were voted ‘#1 Cult To Join’ by Connecticut Lifestyles and won the Readers’ Choice award for cults in Connecticut Magazine’s ‘Best of Connecticut’ issue.” At least that is what it says on their brochure anyway.
The cult compound has meditation rooms decorated in a Bauhaus minimalist style where new initiates can silently reflect while listening to prerecorded tapes over the loudspeaker. For their convenience, doors are locked from the outside.
Bucky err Altair, said if residents do not want to join they can help preserve Forestville’s only cult by making a cash contribution.
Speaking at a cult workshop Altair told the gathered crowd, “The vast majority of fundraising for cults takes place by members turning over their assets and from donors like you. Your generous gift sponsors everything we do like mind manipulation, shamming and control. It opens worlds and is amazing.”