On December 31, at the stroke of midnight, the ball at Times Square dropped prompting concern at the White House.
President Obama in speaking to reporters immediately claimed that Vladimir Putin and Russian hackers were behind it. “The precise timing that the ball dropped exactly at midnight is something that could only happen at the behest of Russian authorities at the highest level.”
In response, Obama ordered the expulsion of three more Russian diplomats, a service dog and popular cartoon character Cheburashka.
The incident follows on the heels of Obama blaming the Russian president for Hillary Clinton losing the election and swiping the supply of mints at the White House reception desk.
“What the president did makes sense,” said Tom Joyner, a local expert on Russian affairs since he read a book on it this morning. “We have to tell Russia, ‘Hands off our balls.'”
To map out other measures to punish the Russians, Obama brought onto his strategic planning staff Jackass star Johnny Knoxville. “The Russians will uh, uh, be pranked really good,” Obama promised.