Local Woman Has a Run in Her Stockings, Friends Aghast


When Lynn Anne Chambers arrived late for dinner at 150 Central in Forestville Friday night, her friends were stunned to discover that she had a run in her stockings.

Best friend Muffy Bancroft struggled to come to terms with the fashion faux pas. “She pairs a nice classic navy blouse and skirt with a jacket tailored from two-tone crosshatch suiting fabric, but adds torn white Haynes stockings? Who even wears Haynes stockings?” asked Muffy. “It is so two decades ago. She needs to get some Donna Karan and now!”

The evening grew more uncomfortable when it became apparent that thirty-something Lynn did not keep an extra pair of stockings in her purse and seemed oblivious to the stir she caused. “It’s not like she is some plebe,” observed one of her dinner companions. “She should know better. Remove, discard and replace or leave. That’s how it’s done.”

One lady at an adjoining table griped, “You can’t prance about the Ville with inferior and damaged stockings, my dear. You may as well just break out the tube top and solicit truckers on Route 10 in Southington.”

This is not the first time Lynn shocked friends at a dinner. Last month she wore noisy charm bracelets. “Are you supposed to be a fortune teller or a Kardashian?” her friend Shelia asked cuttingly.

And another time, while trying to be trendy, she showed up in a plaid shirt with yoga pants and a woolen flower bucket hat to an after-work event. “I now only refer to her as ‘that woman,'” said Sheila. “I can’t bear to be with her, except when she buys us girls dinner at Nuchi’s.”

Some in attendance refused to comment over Lynn’s latest flop or have their identities revealed. Even Lynn’s own Amazon Echo device decided to stop responding to her commands. However, a Twitter hashtag has been set up for anyone wishing to further publicly humiliate her.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: