The Women’s March is underway in D.C. to protest the democratic election of Donald Trump. Originally called the “Million Women’s March,” the name was changed as organizers worried it would tell the world the 500,000 participants couldn’t count.
Another march is being held in D.C. in response called the “Single Man’s March.” Organized after hearing about the Woman’s March on the dating site Plenty Of Fish, the purpose of the Single Man’s March is to score dates with members of the Women’s March.
Protesters hold bottles of wine and flowers and loudly blare Barry White from iPod speakers. Their signs range from “Is 6 tonight @Starbucks good 4 U?” to “I Want to Sex You Up.”
Park police also report a hastily organized counter-march, “Gay Men’s March,” is hitting on the Single Man’s March with varying success.
In the meantime, the Women’s March is putting off the latter march, saying it has a headache.
“That’s fine,” says one discouraged protester. “Turns out a lot of the people in the Women’s March are single guys who snuck in. I wish I had thought of that.”