Public Works drivers arrived at the city’s garages Tuesday afternoon to cheers of crowds following their heroic cleanup of Tuesday’s Nor’easter. Battling howling winds, rain and sleet, the plucky workers cleared roads and parking lots in Bristol and Forestville. “Everyone says its good we got snow and rain but I think it’s good we got the wind,” observed Barley Owens, a Public Works employee.
Their performance had captivated taxpayers as roads were quickly cleared between mandated coffee breaks. Dignitaries including city council members and celebrities from Bristol Talks greeted the men as they returned from an exhausting couple hours of plowing and salting.
“It was touch and go for a while,” admitted Jellybean, a popular snowplow driver. “But once I finished taking a nap in the cab and put the truck in gear, the weather was no match for me.”
The returning workers were further cheered as they drove down puddle-filled North Main Street splashing excited crowds gathered on the sidewalk. The cold and now wet residents waved and sought selfies with the brave drivers. The drivers were also met with ticker-tape, which they had to clean up later, scoring them much-appreciated overtime pay.
Said one rambling onlooker, “Times like these you really understand it’s the Public Works department that keeps us from turning into another Syria or Afghanistan.”
Jellybean smiled as he posed by his truck. “It’s our job. As our motto says, ‘Neither snow nor sleet nor heat nor gloom of night stays us drivers from the eventual completion of our appointed plowing.’ Well, heat does; there’s nothing to plow then. Actually, if there is no snow or sleet, we also get stayed. We really don’t do much most of the time. Fortunately, the break room has satellite and a vending machine filled with Little Debbies.”