PRESIDENT TRUMP DECLARES WAR US TROOPS ATTACK SNL!

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Due to an ongoing and relentless feud with the late night comedy show Saturday Night Live (SNL), President Donald Trump announced early Saturday morning that U.S. troops had carried out a military operation against the show by seizing the writing staff and actors.

The troops stormed 30 Rockefeller Plaza (headquarters for NBC) shortly afternoon midnight and gained a foothold. They quickly advanced through the building and took Studio 8H from where the show is performed and their offices on the 17th Floor. Explosions, gunfire and cast member Kate McKinnon crying could be heard outside.

The ground troops waged an offensive against the cast and writers, who responded fiercely with snappy insults and witty repartee before being captured.

Executive Producer Lorne Michaels was captured as well and taken to the Guantanamo Bay detention camp in Cuba.

Alec Baldwin who portrays an unflattening version of President Trump on the program escaped during the fighting and is in hiding. Intelligence officials think he is on the upper floors of the CBS building also known as Black Rock, only a couple of streets away. A small U.S. Special Operations Force is navigating through the city searching for the actor.

In an early morning televised address, the president informed the American people that he ordered U.S. troops to carry out the attack on the comedy show. “On my orders, the United States military has conducted an operation that has resulted in the capturing of the entire staff of Saturday Night Live. The will no longer mock me, my administration or me.”

His speech went on to warn other programs and critics that this mission against SNL was only the first in what would be continuous raids against enemies of his administration.

Trump and his surrogates have a contentious relationship with the media and as a result they been lampooned by not only SNL, but all of the late night programs.

At this hour it is believed that U.S. troops with armored vehicles, tanks, Bradley fighting vehicles and Apache helicopters are planning assaults on the Daily Show, Real Time with Bill Maher and Charlie Rose because he constantly interrupts his guests.

A rumor is circulating that ground troops, based on a presidential directive, will seize the Boardman offices in Forestville.

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