Mayor Against State Mandate for Firehouse Dalmatians

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Due to financial concerns the mayor testified last week at the Legislative Office Building against a state mandate that would provide workers compensation coverage for first responders suffering from PTSD.

Following his testimony, the mayor also came out against a state mandate for firehouse Dalmatians as well. “I am grateful for the services Dalmatians provide for our firehouses, but I don’t believe municipalities should be required to feed them. They can eat table scraps or beg. They are dogs so they knew the deal when they signed up.”

He also expressed concern for the costs associated with the animals. “Do you know how much a dog costs? Lots. Grooming, vet visits, doggy daycare. It is a system mired in fraud.”

The mayor is also worried that an unfunded mandate for Dalmatians will result in other mandates as well. “If we are forced to pay for the fire department’s dog then we’ll be required to pay for the Public Works wombat, the Tax Office badger and the Water Department’s pufferfish. In case you didn’t notice I do not like to spend money unless it is my idea.”

The Forestville Fire Department could not be reached for comment.

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