Sessions and the Russians


Democrats are clamoring for an investigation into whether Trump colluded with the Russian government to do something bad. However, the man who may be in charge of any investigation is now himself accused of ties to the home of communism.

Attorney-General Jeff Sessions is under fire for talking to a Russian ambassador during his tenure on the Armed Services Committee. Dem. Claire McCaskill who also met the Russian ambassador while on the Armed Services Committee, reported that no one on the Armed Services Committee ever meets the Russian ambassador. “He may be on the payroll of Putin,” she concludes in a written statement sponsored by Michelin – The Right Tire Changes Everything.

But Senator Al Franken points out this is not the only worrisome indication of collusion by Sessions and Russia. Other contacts by Sessions during this, the Decade of Al Franken, raise suspicion:

Sessions and Russian Timeline

December 24, 1946
Jefferson Sessions born according to unconfirmed reports in Russian hospital

April 12, 1961
Sessions looks at the sky on exact day Yuri Gagarin becomes first person to orbit Earth

October 25, 1962
Sessions watches Soviet Ambassador Zorin debate Adlai Stevenson on TV, a device the Russians also made

February 22, 1980
Watches in shock as Team USA defeats Soviet Union in the Miracle on Ice game

November 9, 1989
Sessions watches the Berlin Wall come down from the comforts of his living room

November 5, 2015
Obtained map of the world that curiously includes Russia

December 20, 2015
Sessions watches The Nutcracker, a ballet set to music by a Russian

May 1, 2016 (May Day)
Sessions says the word “Russian” on a hot mike when asked by a waiter what kind of salad dressing he wants.

Russian media labeled the witch hunt, a “witch hunt.”

A Kremlin lawmaker further compared it to McCarthyism. “It’s borderless paranoia that the Democrats would think this. Besides, Russia is a lovely place,” he added, pointing to their tourism slogan, “Russia Is For Lovers, Not Armenians.” The slogan is an improvement over their old one which added, “– Also Not Jews, Gypsies, Africans Or Vietnamese, Other Ethnic Groups Inquire At Border.”


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