2017 Office Seekers to Receive Parting Gifts if They Lose

Following the completion of the 2017 local elections, The Registrars of Voters Office will provide parting gifts to the losers, “The gifts are a gratitude for seeking elective office,” they said in a press release.

The parting gifts will come in gift bags and be given to all office seekers in Bristol/Forestville that are on the ballot and lose. Among the freebies are organic skin, hair and beauty care products, slippers, pantyhose and travel brochures.

The Registrar’s office said the gift bags will be decorative and contain a wide variety of products intended as consolation prizes.

They dismissed criticism of the parting gifts saying they are a wonderful way for the government to show their appreciation to the losing candidates, “At the end of a long and tough campaign who wouldn’t want delicious jams, jellies and cheeses from Hickory Farms to ease the pain of losing?”

Thank you from the government

Other parting gifts are Pelvic tighteners, Sauna pants, Magic Gravity Balls, The Better Marriage Blanket, French Mediterranean Sea Salts, string cheese, protein bars, air vaporizers, cough syrup coupons, cold medications, See Thru T- Shirts and a glass frame with a photo of the current Registrar of Voters and Secretary of State.

2017 election parting gift

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