Forestville to Get New Sawdust Factory

Construction is set to begin on a sawdust factory in the historic section of Forestville. It will be the only factory in the United States that exclusively cuts wood for the purposes of sawdust.

The wood will be cut and pulverized into wood particles for no reason whatsoever because once pulverized, the particles will be simply thrown away.

Additionally, the factory will not employ people because woodpeckers and carpenter ants will do all the work, according to a statement issued by the mayor’s office. The mayor hailed the announcement to build the sawdust factory as a triumph for Forestville.

“This sawdust facility will have no economic impact on the region or provide any jobs for workers,” the mayor said at a press conference.

A source close to the mayor elaborated and said there is no incentive for the factory to be built or the wood to be cut. “It’s just a way for the mayor to get his name in the newspaper and attend a ribbon cutting ceremony.”

The Sawdust Factory will occupy the location that was once home to the Air Pollution Factory.

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