It is May Day in June

On a sun soaked and warm Saturday afternoon in the Mum City, the Republican Town Committee filled Muzzy Field to celebrate the mayor with speeches of praise and denunciations of Bristol Democrats.

The authoritarian mayor presided over the spectacle from a viewing stand high above the field, and clapped enthusiastically as the RTC marched in elaborate formations before him with colorful orange flags. They sang songs of loyalty, chanted and danced while wearing orange shirts, orange shorts, orange hats, orange boots and orange tube socks.

Following the parade, which included floats with his image, the Supreme Leader addressed the crowd and touted his administration’s accomplishments such as ending the drought and soundproofing his office.

The Supreme Leader then added, “I will do everything in my power to minimize any tax increase but if a tax increase is imposed, I will be certain to blame the Democrats and in particular my opponent in the November election because everything that is wrong in the world is her fault including the fact that my I-Pod does not work.”

Due to his penchant for bulling those that do not share his views, near the conclusion of the event, a shackled union worker was brought before him at the viewing stand and was promptly belittled and demeaned to the crowd’s delight.

The Forestville Fire Department had no comment about the matter.

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