Forestville Man Suing The Periodic Table of the Elements

According to court documents, Forestville resident Willie Flanch is suing the Periodic Table of the Elements, and the descendants of the Russian inventor that created the Periodic Table.

Mr. Flanch showing off to friends at a recent party said he could create a small explosion or a rancid smell with his new chemistry kit. So he mixed lead and helium and nothing happened. No explosion. No smell – nothing.

He tried other gases as well and the results were the same. Speaking with Boardman afterward he reflected, “You are often told ‘Hey man don’t mix this with that because bad things could happen.’ Well they should also warn you that mixing lead and helium or lead with any gas like argon, krypton, neon, xenon, radon – yeah radon! – will result in nothing. Those freaking noble gasses suck dude.”

Consequently, Mr. Flanch decided that because the Periodic Table showed no remorse or compassion and was not cooperative after the fact he would seek a legal remedy.

The Periodic Table of the Elements was not able to comment because it is not human.


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