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te Candidates

A Review of the Nominations
By The Moll

Bat Boy Endorses Dante!

Bat Boy, a creature who is half human and half bat, announced yesterday he is endorsing Dante Tagariello for mayor of Bristol. “This endorsement does not expand our base it just verifies it,” explained Bristol Republican Town Committee spokesperson Latham Eikel. “Consequently, we will take all the endorsements we can get.”

As part of his endorsement, Bat Boy will go door knocking with Mr. Tagariello and appear at campaign events.

The grotesque creature, who was captured in a West Virginia cavern in the 1990s, also endorsed city council candidates Cheryl Thibeault (R) and Kathy Faber (R). Cheryl, sporting a fashionable pill box tin foil hat, told Boardman while scouring the sky for extraterrestrials with a flashlight, “The endorsement of Bat Boy is right in our wheelhouse. We are deeply honored to receive the support of Bat Boy. Ya know I could go on and on about this and I think I will. Now then, when I was a little girl…”

Candidates for public office enjoy endorsements because they are a validation of their principles and ethos. Alas, next week the mutant alien baby is expected to lend its support to Dante as well, and the campaign is actively seeking endorsements of other ghouls, goblins and maybe even a Chupacabra.

Bat Boy is the first endorsement for Mr. Tagariello.

Alien baby will endorse Dante next week