Bristol Blues Announce 2017 Promotional Dates

March 18, 2017

The Bristol Blues are entering their third season in the FCBL and they have just released a portion of their 2017 promotional calendar. There are numerous promotions throughout the season and here are just a few.

Saturday June 10, 7PM, Breathalyzer Night

Come to the game, pass a breathalyzer test in the 7th inning, and receive a free beer. Presented by Anheuser-Busch.

Wednesday June 28, 7PM, No Cheering Night

Fans in attendance are encouraged to sit silently and not cheer. Text, read and shut-up!

Saturday July 8, Medication Night

Meds anyone? Bring your empty medication bottles and have them filled by a pharmacist.

Tuesday July 25, Survey Night

Come on down to historic Muzzy Field and take a survey. Take your pick from the Memorial Boulevard, Route 6 Corridor, Downtown Vision, Centre Square, or 2017 Election, Surveys.

Representatives from Milone & MacBroom, Fitzgerald and Halliday, Inc., the Chamber of Commerce and the Forestville consulting firm of Landry, Issel and Escalanté will tally the results.

Thursday August 3, 7PM, Running of the Bulls

A bull run or “encierros” as it is referred to in Spanish will be held following the top part of the 5th inning.

Starting near Bristol Pizza the bulls will chase the runners down Jacobs Street, to Muzzy Street and through the entrance to the stadium along the right field line and onto the field to a cheering bloodthirsty crowd.

The game will resume with the bulls staying on the field to graze.

Chaos, danger and fun for the entire family!

Events and Giveaways

The 2017 season will also feature some fun events and giveaways too.

Thursday June 15
Pre-melted Ice Night. The first 100 fans receive a bag of pre-melted ice.

Tuesday July 4
The first 50 fans through the gates receive renderings of the City Council as STAR WARS™ characters by Forestville students.

Freedom Of Information Night
Suspicious of the guy sitting next to you? FOIA forms for everybody!

Friday August 4, Empty Stadium Night
No game scheduled. The first 100 spectators not to attend will receive nothing, which can be redeemed at the team store.

The Bristol Blues play in the Futures Collegiate Baseball League (FCBL). It is a wood bat collegiate summer baseball league. Each team plays 56 regular season games (28 home and 28 away) and the Blues play at historic Muzzy Field.


Blues Lose, Are the Democrats to Blame or Are the Republicans?

July 31, 2016

Blame 01

The Bristol Blues recently lost two games in a row and city Republicans believe the Democrats are responsible.

To stop the losing skid, Republicans were seen outside Muzzy Field near the entrance where Babe Ruth, Connie Mack and many local legends once stood, with pitch forks and torches demanding Democrats not attend Friday night’s game.

Democratic favorites Rippy Patton and Calvin Brown attempted to reason with the angry crowd with facts and statistics. It did nothing. Republicans, hurling scornful insults, jabbed their pitchforks and waved their torches at them.

State legislators Whit Betts, Cara Pavalock and Henri Martin heard it was getting testy and quickly issued a joint statement urging calm, and then headed over to Rodd’s Restaurant presumably for a short stack with eggs, bacon and tasty pork rolls.

Things then got weird.

The promo van for Bristol’s Internet Rock Radio Station – The Beat, arrived and the hard working crew handed out gift cards while they played a mix of Van Halen and Public Enemy to lighten the mood. Unfortunately it didn’t.

77th District candidate Laura Bartok showed up, made a quick study of the situation and put forth a policy paper to solve the problem. No one noticed.

One time mayoral hopeful Rick Kriscenski materialized out of thin air from the 1990s with bullhorn in hand hysterically demanding an ice rink be built, and taxes raised on the wealthy.

A riot nearly erupted.

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Eventually, as the Blues rallied, all the ideological combatants put their differences aside for a few innings and cheered the home team on together to a 7-2 win.

However, as the crowd emptied to the neighborhood streets around the historic ballpark, City Councilor Mary Fortier stood alone on the outfield grass. Grappling with what had transpired she wondered, “Where has Bristol gone? What can Bristol do? Why did the Blues make that pitching change?”

As all seemed lost, suddenly the public address system crackled back to life. A voice wafted over the field and quoting 18th century Scottish philosopher David Hume said the following:

“Your corn is ripe today; mine will be so tomorrow. ‘Tis profitable for us both, that I should labour with you today, and that you should aid me tomorrow. I have no kindness for you, and know you have as little for me. I will not, therefore, take any pains upon your account; and should I labour with you upon my own account, in expectation of a return, I know I should be disappointed, and that I should in vain depend upon your gratitude. Here then I leave you to labour alone; You treat me in the same manner. The seasons change; and both of us lose our harvests for want of mutual confidence and security.”

The scattered few left in attendance turned to identify the speaker but the stadium lights faded to black leaving everyone in the dark together to ponder.


DB Cooper Spotted in Forestville

July 29, 2016
D.B. Cooper

D.B. Cooper

D.B. Cooper skyjacked a Boeing 727 airplane in 1971 for $200,000 in ransom and parachuted out of the aircraft somewhere over Washington State. He has never been found. The FBI just suspended its investigation into the skyjacker two weeks ago. Since then D.B. Cooper sightings have been reported all over Forestville.

Cooper was spotted by Newton Corley at Legends Sports Bar And Grill on Pine Street in a celebrative mood drinking a bourbon and soda Monday evening.

Muhammad Terez said he saw Cooper in the picnic area at a Blues game Tuesday eating a hot dog, downing beers and flashing a lot of money.

And Emma Glockenspiel identified the fugitive in line at City Hall wearing a dark suit, black tie and sunglasses registering to vote Thursday morning.

“It has been long been rumored that a D.B. Cooper lived in Forestville but we all thought he kept a low profile because he was shy. Who knew that it was because the FBI was after him?” remarked local busy body Fred Hemple.


Blues Rained Out, Impact on Community Unknown

July 2, 2016

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Last night’s scheduled baseball game between the Bristol Blues and the Worcester Bravehearts was postponed due to rain. A make-up date is still to be determined.

It is not known what impact the cancelation had on the community, but Bristol’s Director of Emergency Preparedness announced emergency shelters and crisis counselors are available for fans to help them come to terms with the decision to cancel the game. “Fans feeling anxious or down about the game not being played can come in to talk to someone or just hang out,” the director remarked.

According to experts, baseball rainouts occur when the effects of rain hamper field conditions, making it unfit for play.

The mayor said having lots and lots of water fall from the sky on a summer night is not right. He also said that although Bristol is a city it is a small community, and everyone is shaken by rainouts.

Bristol Police are working to determine a motive for the rain, but believe the rainout is an “isolated incident.” No arrests are expected.

The Blues next home game is tomorrow night at 7PM versus the Torrington Titans.

Look for me somewhere along the third base line or first base line. I will be wearing contemporary summer clothing unless it rains. Come on over and say hello!


Bristol Blues Off to a Quick Start

June 8, 2016

Bristol Blues logo 01

The Bristol Blues are off to a quick start in the Futures Collegiate Baseball League (FCBL). Currently they are in second place with a 4 and 2 record; a mere half game out of first place in the West Division.

The Blues attribute their initial success to scoring more runs than their opposition. “I can’t speak for anyone else but this is our recipe for winning ballgames,” remarked Buddy Myers, special assistant to the manager. “I told our players that if we continue to score more runs than our opponents there is no way we can lose.”

The Blues statisticians are eager to point out that the team has yet to lose any Thursday games on the young season. Also, since they began playing in the FCBL in 2015, they remain undefeated when their games are canceled due to rain.

The next home date is tomorrow night (Thursday June 9) at Muzzy Field versus the Wachusett Dirt Dawgs. The scheduled start time is 7PM.

Look for me along the third base grandstand. I will be the one wearing a blue ball cap with a giant B.