Review of the 2018 Chamber of Commerce Debate
by The Mole
The 2018 Chamber of Commerce Debate was held Tuesday night at St. Paul Catholic High School.
The debate started at 6 with the doors being unlocked at 5:29 and opening at 5:30.
Boardman did not attend so The Mole went in his place.
Boardman loathes these events so here I sit again with a lady friend.
The crowd is well-behaved but sparse. Check this out. Echo…echo…echo…Now batting…bat-ting…bat-ting. Manny…Manny…Manny. Mo-ta…Mo-ta…Mo-ta.
Anyway, here we go. All times are Forestville time because that is how I roll.
To prove our patriotism the festivities get started with The Pledge of Allegiance. The Pledge is done at council meetings, and the national anthem is sung at ballgames, why do we not show our patriotism while pumping gas?
State rep candidates start us off but first…wait for it…the ritualistic “Flaunting of the Resumes”! Boooor-ing! It might work if they were sponsored.
Some of the acoustic tiles in the ceiling need to be replaced. As a result, this is a good time as any to practice my counting. Here we go: one, two, three…
Hardly anyone here and there are seats everywhere, but this “Johnny Come Lately” clown sits directly in front of us. W…T…F!
A question about working across the aisle. I wonder: should I giggle now or wait for the answers?
Do I browse Zillow or organize the apps on my phone?
Did I just hear thunder or is that Allan Marko speaking?
Intermission. Which side of the stage does the Zamboni come out?
They should shoot t-shirts into the crowd that say, “I Survived the Chamber of Commerce Debate 2018”.
Senate candidates are up.
Henri, opening statement. Listening…listening…do you want cheese with that whine, sir?
What is up with Henri tonight? My goodness he is an angry puppy. Can the republicans call a timeout and draw up a play for him?
Healthcare question…this should be interesting.
Henri is stalling.
Chris wavered a little.
Me to my lady friend: Wake me when they come up with an answer.
I ceased paying attention at 7:15.
It’s over? Why is everyone applauding? It wasn’t that good.
Analyzing Some of the Candidates
Way better than 2016. Being the only candidate on stage not wearing glasses must be frustrating, and a terrible burden so a tip of the hat to her.
However, one complaint; okay two.
1) She wrapped herself in the American flag during her dismount. Egads! We get it you love the United States. Who here doesn’t?
2) What is a working-class attorney? I thought lawyers flossed their teeth with twenty-dollar bills.
Ay Yi Yi! Where even to start?
Let’s keep this simple. Did he really vote 99% of the time with his party leadership? I hope he at least got a gift basket with an assortment of tiny bath soaps for doing that.
And what’s this about never calling the newly elected Mayor of Bristol, one of the towns youuuu represent? I know Ziogas called. I heard Whit called. I bet Cara thought of calling. Come on…Henri.
He was “okay” but I was disappointed he did not handout bushels of corn or offer free tractor rides.
Chris did very well. However, he gets shorter every time I see him sitting, and he needs to make up his mind on tolls. Can’t be necessarily for them and necessarily against them dude. That’s so Rand Paul.
If he does not win – voice over work. Trust me.
Okay, enough with the tolls. On behalf of everyone living, Uncle!
Politicians are many things and the ones on stage tonight appeared genuine. However, when 50 residents show up for a debate, one hopes the sacrifice of their time, effort and energy is worth while. For the voters it seems it is not.
The end is near and soon it will be time to move on.