Recently, Boardman was invited to attend a city council meeting. However, not being a fan of crowds or people because crowds mean people and people mean problems, I respectfully declined. However, in my place was The Mole and here are his/her observations.
All times EDT
How did Boardman talk me into this again? Jeopardy! is on at 7 and I am going to miss it.
We are starting already? I thought first pitch was at 7!
Ohhhhh this is the Finance Board; the JVs. No wonder I was bored after only two minutes.
Here we go the varsity is on.
Public Comments this should be good. Bristol Hospital guy is up. Okay and?
I lost interest. Not sure what I was expecting but I wasn’t expecting that.
One other guy that’s it?
After listening to a few of these I am of the mind they should have corporate sponsors for each announcement. I picture it like this:
“Hi everyone, I’m Dave Mills with an important announcement about the Parks Department but first; folks let me tell you something about Metamucil,” etc., etc.
The guy next to me thinks it’s a dumb idea. He just moved one seat over.
Just an observation but these wood seats really suck. They need to recline and provide lumbar support because my back hurts.
Note to self: How is it that the city councilors and the mayor have comfy leather chairs and lots of leg room?
They sit in the lap of luxury while us potato eaters sit here like we are flying coach!
Taking inventory of the crowd and where are all the republicans? I see a few that I recognize from the post office, but are the rest in the Witness Protection Program after November? Isn’t there usually a cabal sitting in the back; skeptical, plotting and snarling? Come on guys! Oh wait, for those that enjoy the “Letters to the Editor”, perhaps I am being “invidious” right now.
Did someone on the council just say bi…bif…what the heck was just said?
The schoolmarm in front of me said the word in question was “bifurcated.” Bifurcated (I hope I spelled that right)? What the F does that mean?
Tap the schoolmarm in front of me on the shoulder.
Me: Psst! Who said it?
Schoolmarm in front of me: Who do you think said it?
Me: Councilman Peter Kelley with an e?
Schoolmarm in front of me: Are you trying to be funny?
Time to go. I missed Jeopardy! for this? Are they at least going to feed us?
No? Well, I…am…out…of…here.
P.S. Election Day is only 264 days away. Stay semi-informed with Alan Boardman’s semi-comprehensive and semi-accurate election coverage.