August City Council Meeting
by The Mole
While Boardman continues to convalesce during his death, I attended the city council meeting on August 15th.
All times below are approximations because I have no concept of time. After all what is time, but just a form of measurement used to sequence events. Man that was kind of preachy.
Note: it is a WEDNESDAY and not a Tuesday so this seriously conflicts with my social agenda.
The councilor introductions would work a lot better with smoke bombs and lasers.
I don’t get how they are seated. Regardless of the logic, I think they should sit alphabetically and by height.
Announcements hits lead off tonight? Is someone injured? A day game after a night game possibly?
Amazon to Bristol? Hey now that’s a win!
The mayor has an Amazon gift bag and is tossing the contents to the city councilors. How about something for the spectators? Oh, right, no freebies for the potato eaters sitting out here in the cheap seats.
Ya know if she had an air cannon and shot those t-shirts into the crowd that would have played really well.
Whoa, whoa, whoa – time out. During that Amazon debriefing did the mayor drop “mosaic” on an unsuspecting crowd? What, no bifurcate or quixotic as part of her vocab this month?
A break already? What is going on here? First, they meet on a Wednesday. Next, Announcements is at the top of the meeting and finally the mayor utters a fancy word that does not necessitate me having to consult a linguist or a lexicographer. We are seriously off the rails.
We are back.
Wouldn’t it be neat if they used a starter pistol to signify the meeting was resuming?
Mary said there is a wiffleball tournament at Page Park. That is nice but I really wish she would discuss her water bills again. I miss those halcyon days.
Dave Preleski is up with the Ordinance Committee and Real Estate Reports. I am ready for him this month and plan to stay awake. I visited Dunkin Donuts earlier and purchased an Iced Coffee. They offer three sizes for this type of situation: Large, Extra Large and OH DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN! Knowing Dave was up tonight I went with the OH DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN!
Here we go. Wait! He waived off the reading? Jesus H! Hang on I need a minute to process this.
What am I going to do with all this coffee? Thanks a lot, Dave!
It seems I spoke too soon. He’s reading Ordinances. Freaking Preleski man. I bet Peter Kelley with an e, who just arrived, wishes he got stuck in traffic.
Peter Kelley with an e looks haggard and is loosening his tie. That look of exasperation shows he knows and he gets it. Have a Vodka, Lime and Soda and buckle up. No Waterbury Fade tonight Kemosabe!
I stand corrected. True to his word Dave kept it short. This night is so screwed up but thank you God.
I was texting with a “friend” so I missed a bunch of shit (no Boardman to edit me so I have free rein), but I did hear something about a grant and bullet proof vests. Bullet proof vests are important, but I wonder do they make designer bullet proof vests? When will Versace or Ralph Lauren get in on the action? Not only should one be protected, but they should be stylish while they are being protected.
What are they discussing now? Never mind I am losing my focus and I just learned Australian Pink Floyd is coming to the Oakdale in October so I am securing tickets.
Section 102 Row C!
Did I do my laundry?
Where can I get a jaw-dropping credit card with 0% APR and cash back awards?
There are two arm rests here. Which one is really mine?
Water, water, everywhere. This is inside baseball stuff. Next council meeting I am bringing a date.
Hey Boardman, if you can hear me in your current state, send help!
Executive Session! That’s a wrap. Thank you Boardman!
No idea what time it is
Next month’s meeting is next month so until then see you then.