Pep Rally for Connecticut

April 3, 2016

Pep Rally 001

Governor Malloy, believing Connecticut is in the midst of a great malaise, wants residents to show their state spirit, so he will be having a “Pep Rally for Connecticut” next Saturday beginning at noon.

The pep rally will be on the grounds of the state capitol and Bushnell Park. The governor promises there will be giveaways, a Connecticut trivia contest and pelvic thrusting cheerleaders jiggling about.

The purpose of the rally is so residents get their minds off of Connecticut’s escalating debt, declining population, cost of living, low paying jobs, high housing costs, lack of green space, vanishing middle class, state employee layoffs, high taxes and crumbling infrastructure and instead, concentrate on the positive such as CT fastrak and clean prisons.

To keep it positive and hip the governor said there will be musical performances by Up With People, Kenny G and Menudo.

The pep rally is free but there will be donation buckets where passers-by can toss a coin or two in to help the state pay down the debt.