Democrats Eat Food Raise Money

October 21, 2018

Bristol Democrats braved the cold Thursday night and gathered in the North End, and the safety of the Polish Club for their annual dinner.

Tickets were priced at $25 each or $45 for two. The dinner was free if you decided not to attend and stay home.

Rank and file Democrats came from every voting district in town including the Peoples Republic of Chippens Hill. The two known registered democrats were surprisingly issued travel papers, and allowed to the attend the event but under a watchful eye by the Chippens Hill Travel Authority.

The menu featured Baked Ziti, Meatballs, Roasted Potatoes and Tossed Salad. This event was for a bunch of lefties, which left many wondering where were the avocados, the granola and the tofu?

Door prizes for the night were leftovers, candidate lawn signs and opportunities to take photos of important people. In some instances, the rank and file potato eaters were allowed to be in the photos with the important people.

The guest list included Hartford Mayor Luke Bronin, and some lawyer running for Attorney General. According to a source, noted liberals Yo-Yo Ma and Barbra Streisand were unable to attend.


Mine’s Bigger

October 28, 2017

With less than two weeks to election day campaign signs are everywhere and this year they are bigger than ever as candidates are waging war with their signs.

Even though he is just seeking a council seat in the First District, Tony D’Amato’s signs dwarf those of his fellow council candidates and the mayoral candidates too. Not just because they are necessarily bigger but because they are everywhere and not only in the Bristol/Forestville area.

He has weaponized his signs by expanding his operation with a growth strategy by penetrating alternative markets such as China, the Kremlin and a corner of Times Square. The political operative known locally as The Twerp, told Boardman, “Tony is thinking beyond District One because District One is just a formality.”

Other candidates have followed suit. Mary Fortier and Cheryl Thibeault are locked in a battle to the death in the Third District, and are not waging war with yard signs; they have gone to the mattresses with traffic signs.

Brittany Barney, also in the Third, has opted not to get into the sign fray so instead she has hit gold with a Brittany “Awareness Ribbon” to show support and raise consciousness for her campaign.

Andrew Howe in the Second is promoting his campaign with an alphabet soup. “It has no flavor and it has no taste because sometimes you just want soup goddammit and you don’t care how it fucking tastes.” That’s what it says on the can anyway. Okay, I added goddammit because I thought it needed punching up.

The election is Tuesday November 7, 2017. Stay semi-informed with Alan Boardman’s semi-comprehensive and semi-accurate election coverage.

The Heat is On!

September 18, 2017

Election Day is fast approaching and Bristol/Forestville politics are beginning to heat up.

Sunday, Mary Fortier and Cheryl Thibeault went toe to toe on the State of the City, which resulted in the show being extended a half hour. In fact, it has been almost two days since the program and Cheryl is still on the air answering one of the questions.

Their interplay was lively, informative and both candidates represented themselves well…during the pre-show banter. The show itself descended into a food fight. Boxing promoter Bob Arum was listening and was impressed so he wants a rematch in October.

Arum told Boardman, “I think we could have a good battle on our hands with Facebook users jumping in over the top rope so speak. I want to promote it with signs, banners, bunting – the whole shebang.”

The candidates have not agreed to terms but each has a rider or list of requirements that must be met before they will agree to appear together.

Cheryl Thibeault’s diva demands include the following:

* Her resume will be read by the town crier after every other question
* She must be allowed to talk and talk and talk without ANYONE interrupting
* Budgets give her the warm fuzzies so all questions must pertain to the budget; any budget
* All bumper music is to be “Cheryl approved”
* A basket of cute meowing kittens has to be in the studio during the program

Mary Fortier’s rider demands demand the following:

* Cheryl will stop talking long enough so Mary can speak
* A copy of the “Code Enforcement numbers” will be made available prior to air in English, Spanish and Braille
* The mayor returns all of her committee postings that he stripped away
* She must be allowed to name drop “Ellen Zoppo-Sassu” in each segment
* One can of Red Bull – no wait two cans! – check that three cans of Red Bull will be provided to her after the show just because

The election is Tuesday November 7, 2017. Stay semi-informed with Alan Boardman’s semi-comprehensive and semi-accurate election coverage.

Previewing the Candidates of District 3 / Battle of the Resumes

July 25, 2017

This year’s races for City Council will hinge on the candidates outlook for Bristol’s future.

Boardman, throughout the election season, will breakdown the city council races. Today District 3 is previewed, which includes Federal Hill and Forestville.

Cheryl Thibeault (R)

Mrs. Thibeault has an exceptional resume. When she enters a room her resume has already been there for ten minutes.

Currently she serves on the following boards and committees:

• Board of Finance (chair)
• Retirement Board
• 10-Year Capital Improvement Board
• Fire Building #4 Building Committee (co-chair)
• BOF liaison to the Police Board
• Youth leader in her church

But wait there is more.

• Mayor’s Task Force on Energy Conservation
• Greene-Hills School Building Committee
• Mayor’s TEAM committee
• Memorial Boulevard Task Force
• PTA president
• Girl Scout leader
• Forestville Village Association member
• Chamber of Commerce Board Director
• Wheeler YMCA Board
• Rescued a kitty from a tree
• Orchestrated the 2014 Ceasefire in Fallujah
• Her last name is two syllables
• Just copyrighted the word resume©
• In her spare time she is a super-hero

Mary Fortier (D)

Councilwoman Mary Fortier is seeking her third consecutive term. According to City Council Magazine she is Forestville’s favorite city councilor.

Mrs. Fortier is a mother of six and lives in the Federal Hill area in a house on a street. Her resume© includes the following:

• Lawyer with the State of Connecticut, Waterbury Court House
• Eighth woman to serve on the Bristol City Council
• Served on the Bristol Development Authority
• Served on the Bristol Community Organization
• Served on the Disability Commission
• Served on the Pine Lake Committee
• Served on the Real Estate Committee
• Served on the Salary Committee
• Was one of 100 women leaders in Connecticut that petitioned Governor Malloy to support paid family sick leave in 2016
• Regularly attends Bristol Blues games but has yet to thrown out a first pitch. Baseball Prospectus says she throws from a three-quarters arm slot; hides the ball well and hits her spots
• Wears glasses
• Signs her name in cursive
• Her last name is three syllables

Dave Mills (R)

Mr. Mills previously served two terms on the City Council before returning in 2015. His name appears in the newspaper a lot and now this website. Here are some highlights from his career:

• Retired School Teacher and high school football coach
• 2015 received the Spirit of Bristol Award from the CT Chambers of Commerce
• 2003 Bristol Sports Hall of Fame Inductee
• Head football coach at Bristol Eastern for 26 years
• Twice named “Coach of the Year” by the CIAC
• 1988 State Champion
• Revolutionized football using multiple formation offences and bringing back the shotgun, invented the 4-3 defense (Flex Defense), 20 straight winning seasons, and wore his trademark fedora on the sidelines. Wait that was Tom Landry former head coach of the Dallas Cowboys. Never mind.

Brittany Barney (D)

A newcomer to Bristol politics so not much is known about candidate Barney. However, a Google search of the name “Brittany Barney” reveals the following information:

• She is a Business Coordinator at Grey Mountain in Boulder, Colorado
• According to IMDb Brittany Barney is an actress best known for her role in the movie Santiago (2011)
• The 5’4 Junior Guard was the Benson High School Girls Basketball Player of the Game on February 2, 2017, Vs. Pima
• In 2009 playing for Clinton Community College against Finger Lakes “Brittany Barney” had 10 rebounds, seven assists and two steals
• Her favorite word is “soooo.”
• Her grandmother died in 1856, 1907, 1959, 1992, 1997, 2012 and 2014

The election is Tuesday November 7, 2017. Stay semi-informed with Alan Boardman’s semi-comprehensive and semi-accurate election coverage.