Nutmeg TV to Air New Game Show ‘As Politicians Match Wits’

July 5, 2017

This September Nutmeg Community Access TV will debut a new game show called,” As Politicians Match Wits”. Votes and donations are on the line as local politicians compete against one another by answering general knowledge questions such as: What color is the color tan? And, what time is it at 10:30?

The program will be hosted by former TV newsman Tom Monahan because he has his own microphone.

The first episode gets off to a quick start with Andrew Howe and Ellen Zoppo-Sassu squaring off. Outraged by the first question, what day is tomorrow?, Mr. Howe forfeits the game because he felt the question should have gone out to referendum so the public could weigh in. Consequently Ellen plays against herself in what turns out to be a seesaw battle. Tune in to see who wins.

Twelve episodes will air and feature Josh Medeiros, Peter Kelley, Greg Hahn, Dave Mills, Eric Carlson, Dave Preleski, Mary Fortier, Anthony D’Amato and Cheryl Thibeault with her impressive resume.

The mayor refused to participate based on the advice of counsel, but Egor his spokesperson will.

Egor

As Politicians Match Wits will air Fridays at 9 p.m. following Nostradamus Knows Best, a sitcom about the everyday troubles faced by the 16th-century French , physician, philosopher and seer.


Bristol Library Hosts Singer

July 1, 2017

Recording artist Li’l Jim will be at the Bristol Library.  Li’l is a hip-hop singer who pioneered open-verse rap.  He grew up wanting to be a standard rapper.  However, he gave that dream up when he was diagnosed with a rare form of OCD that compels him to rhyme every line with the word “orange.”

Here is a sample of lyrics from one of his most popular open-verse songs:

I love to drink at places both near and far

At restaurants, nightclubs and even a drinking establishment

I want to marry you, my single life is done

Let’s us start a family, with a daughter and a boy

We fit together, like a hand in a glove

I want no one else, it’s you I really, really orange

Event Info:
7:00 pm, July 17: Li’l Jim With Special Guest Andy Roucliffe, C.P.A.

Cutting-edge hip-hop artist Li’l Jim debuts his latest album very quietly at the library.  Afterward, Mr. Roucliffe presents his rendition of state and federal tax and withholding tables and justifiable deductions for 2017.  Everyone who loves hip hop and tax forms should not miss this performance.

This event is free and BYOB.  People are encouraged to bring coolers with their favorite drinks.  A wet t-shirt contest will be held between performances in the reference section.  A wading pool will also be set up for those who want to splash amidst the rare books collection upstairs.  In the children’s book area, kids can play with squirt guns and water hoses connected to the bathroom faucets.  Get ready for a water-filled fun time at your library!

For more information or to express concern, contact the library by a corded telephone or by mail with a typed, double-spaced letter in pica 12.


Greta Out at MSNBC

June 30, 2017

Greta Van Susteren is out after 6 months MSNBC, but she won’t be out of work long.    

Nutmeg TV, the public access provider for Forestville and Bristol, contacted Van Susteren immediately following her dismissal and hired her to host a call-in show called, “The Talk of Bristol.”

According to Nutmeg TV Executive Director Joanie Sutter, “The Talk of Bristol” will broadcast every other Tuesday at 6 p.m., following “Fun With Straws” and prior to “How to Dig a Hole.”

Despite her awards, fame and over 20 years of television experience, Ms. Van Susteren must take Nutmeg TVs production classes to learn how to use their equipment and produce a program before she goes on the air, Sutter proudly revealed. 
 
This is the second coup for the public access station in as many months.  In May they landed Scott Pelley formally anchor and managing editor of the “CBS Evening News.”  Mr. Pelley currently labels and logs tapes in the Nutmeg TV Library because he has not yet completed Nutmeg’s rigorous production classes.

“For The Record with Greta” began airing on MSNBC in January of 2017, and was cancelled due to poor ratings and frizzy hair.


Boardman Latest Victim of Cyberattack

June 29, 2017

Boardman discovered it was the latest victim of a new ransomware, Basho-Buson.

Forensic computer experts found that it got into the computer system when an employee opened an email claiming to be from the “President of the America.”  In the email, he clicked on a link that promised to give him “million of dollar.”  Off the site it linked to, he downloaded a file that claimed to have the location of Blackbeard’s buried treasure.  Once on his computer, he opened the file.  The file told him to download the ransomware which he then did, causing the infectionIn the east.

“Basho-Buson is software that we call ‘malicious’, which means ‘bad’, that affects computers or what lay people call ‘counting machines’,” said an expert, which is a term used to describe someone who knows a lot.  “The sender employs a clever strategy to dupe the user into thinking this will be a good, not harmful ransomware.  I mean, who wouldn’t think they were about to get Blackbeard’s treasure map?” splash! Silence again.

Boardman ended up paying the requested ransom – two Bitcoins, a job reference and three power ups for Angry Birds, the latter for which the staff had to stay up all night playing the game to get.  Fortunately, the attackers did release Boardman computers upon ransom payment these brilliant-hued hibiscus.
 
Basho-Buson ransomware takes its name from famed haiku poets Matsuo Bashōand Yosa Buson.  The ransomware causes every paragraph in Word documents to end with a line from these poets’ work shows my father’s face.
 
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Forestville Police Make Arrest for Grammar Faux Pas

June 1, 2017

Forestville Police arrested Morgan Fogarty, on charges related to abusing the English language on social media. Ms. Fogarty, 40, a resident of Forestville, was arrested late yesterday afternoon.

She was charged with 18 counts of run on sentences and 13 counts of improper word usage. Fogarty was apprehended shortly after posting a long and tedious message on Facebook that one friend described as, “going on forever.”

Officers recognized Fogarty from her rudimentary mistakes, which included the wrong usage of excepted for accepted, there for their, and connecting clause after clause after clause with no punctuation.

Fogarty called her recent elongated posts, “merely a stream of consciousness” but police are not convinced. A spokesperson for the department said she has a history of mishandling the language with dangling modifiers, possessive nouns and abusing contractions. “I cant [sic] help it,” Fogarty wrote in her sworn statement following her arrest.


Octagon Fight Cage Under Consideration for Rockwell

May 21, 2017

Following a brawl at Rockwell Park and the resulting security concerns, the City of Bristol will be implementing changes to the park including increased patrols and a park ranger. However, that is only the beginning.

The Parks and Recreation Department will ask the Mayor and City Council to add an Octagon Fight Cage. The proposal is aimed at differentiating Bristol from surrounding communities.

The cage under consideration measures 750 square feet, 30 feet across and 6 feet high.

The Octagon Fight Cage can accommodate bare knuckle brawls, street fights, boxing and mixed martial arts, according to the proposal presented to city leaders. Referees, cutmen, judges and ring card girls are not included with the cage, but they can be provided if a deal can be reached with the various unions.

City officials are intrigued by the proposal and city attorneys are evaluating if admission and tickets fees can be administered.


Vacant Lot Fest 2017

May 13, 2017

Right it down! Vacant Lot Fest 2017 is taking place Saturday July 8th. This special one-day event will feature a walking tour of the vacant lots in Forestville by noted empty lot historian Alex Chipley.

Mr. Chipley explains the history and explores the properties along East Main Street that were once vital to the community, but have fallen on hard times

Join Mr. Chipley for a journey back in time at one of America’s premier collection of empty lots. You will find inspiration and neglect as you explore the empty land parcels dotted along Forestville’s landscape.

Ken Wormer will be the featured guest. Mr. Wormer once owned a lot that is now contaminated with overgrowth, trash and industrial waste. He will be available for autographs, photos and signing vacant lot memorabilia.

The tour will leave from the post office at 6PM and is expected to take two hours. This event is sponsored by the Forestville Historical Society.

Vacant Lot Fest 2017 will be opened by the classic rock band Foghat. The band, known for the hits “Slow Ride,” and “Fool For the City” was briefly popular in the 1970s.

Admission to the event is free but the ticket is $10.00.