Stock Market Down Again, Forestville Financial Sector on Edge

January 20, 2016

Financial sector ready to protest

Due to rapidly declining oil prices and another bad day in the stock market, Forestville Police expect a night of boring and bland behavior by Forestville accountants and financial advisors in response.

Financial sector employees have a reputation for being killjoys so police officials are fully prepared for them to live up to their reputation tonight.

Forestville Police said they anticipate accountants, financial planners and advisors to express their outrage and frustration by indulging in banal conversations at local restaurants and bars, much to the displeasure of customers and proprietors.

Last year, when the Internal Revenue Service announced adjustments to the tax tables, accountants responded by publicly engaging in mundane and stale conversations. At least forty people were arrested for their dull trite behavior.

Late this afternoon, police officers were ordered to patrol social gatherings tonight seeking stick-in-the-mud financial employees dressed in drab grey trousers, blankly staring around the room looking like they just came from the morgue, and to disperse them before they ruined everyone’s evening.


Poor People are to blame for the Financial Crisis, says man

February 27, 2009
Wealthy citizens plan protest at Lincoln Memorial

Wealthy citizens plan protest at Lincoln Memorial

I ran into Mark Dresden today and that is always interesting.  Here is a report. 


Mark Dresden believes poor people are to blame for the current financial crisis “If poor people could have afforded their homes when they bought them this crisis would not have happened,” said Mr. Dresden.   


Dresden is organizing a march to the Lincoln Memorial to protest the treatment of wealthy people by poor people.  “They blame the rich for everything.  Well rich folks did not cause this,” said Dresden.  It is expected that several dozen well to do marchers will descend upon the memorial and hear speakers deriding welfare, social security, and numerous other New Deal programs.  Following the speeches they plan to picket homeless shelters and poor neighborhoods, “They need to be held accountable,” said Mr. Dresden.


Um, good luck.