Vacant Lot Fest 2017

May 13, 2017

Right it down! Vacant Lot Fest 2017 is taking place Saturday July 8th. This special one-day event will feature a walking tour of the vacant lots in Forestville by noted empty lot historian Alex Chipley.

Mr. Chipley explains the history and explores the properties along East Main Street that were once vital to the community, but have fallen on hard times

Join Mr. Chipley for a journey back in time at one of America’s premier collection of empty lots. You will find inspiration and neglect as you explore the empty land parcels dotted along Forestville’s landscape.

Ken Wormer will be the featured guest. Mr. Wormer once owned a lot that is now contaminated with overgrowth, trash and industrial waste. He will be available for autographs, photos and signing vacant lot memorabilia.

The tour will leave from the post office at 6PM and is expected to take two hours. This event is sponsored by the Forestville Historical Society.

Vacant Lot Fest 2017 will be opened by the classic rock band Foghat. The band, known for the hits “Slow Ride,” and “Fool For the City” was briefly popular in the 1970s.

Admission to the event is free but the ticket is $10.00.


Naysayers Appreciation Day

April 12, 2017

Cynics, sourpusses, and Prophets of Doom will hold a banquet this Saturday at the Forestville Historical Society as part of “Naysayers Appreciation Day.”

Never one to volunteer or contribute anything helpful to the community, the Grousey Gus’s will honor their never ending negative and pessimistic views of everything. The festivities include a reception, banquet and an opportunity to criticize the night’s events.

The Naysayer of the Year Award will be presented to Augie Geller. Mr. Geller will be honored because he has 40 years of experience ridiculing mayors’, the city council, snow plowing, the traffic on Route 6, The Mall, Renascence Downtowns, Muzzy Field, the Water Department, the mill rate, schools, teachers, sidewalks, blight, The Bristol Red Sox, and a wealth of other issues without ever offering a solution to any problem or situation.

Mr. Geller is expected to complain in his acceptance speech about the menu, his table guests, the award and that the room is cold and drafty.

Carny Kids Camp Saturday

January 10, 2017


This weekend it will be busy at the Forestville Historical Society.

FHS is sponsoring “Carny Kids Camp”, this Saturday from 9 a.m. until 2 p.m. Children under the age of 10 will learn Sword Swallowing from local sword swallower Jamie Lynn Sebah.

The popular “steel slurper” will show kids how to put a two and a half foot sword down their throats, pass the epiglottis, pass the voice box (prominentia laryngea), pass the pharynx, pass the sphincter, and down the esophagus to the lower esophageal sphincter. Then, navigate the blade through the diaphragm, pass the liver, and then to the stomach. All before lunch.

The kids will have their choice of samurai swords, bayonets, cavalry sabers, or stove pokers.

Later she will teach them fire eating, knife throwing and snake charming.

Following lunch there will be an Elephant Man look-a-like contest.

Admission is free but the heat for the Forestville Historical Society is not.

Left Handed Vice Presidents at the Historical Society

August 13, 2016

history 01

The Forestville Historical Society is hosting a program called Being Left Handed and Vice President this Tuesday August 16th from 7PM to 9PM.

According to the program’s organizer Aldridge Rumrick, there have been five known left handed vice presidents in American history: Henry Wallace, Harry Truman, Gerald Ford, Nelson Rockefeller, and George H.W. Bush.

The evening will start with the documentary film, Left Handed and a Heartbeat Away, narrated by Jim Lehrer. The film takes a critical look at the pressures of being left handed and being vice president simultaneously and asks the questions, how does being left handed affect the vice presidency and how does the vice presidency affect being left handed?

Following the film a panel discussion moderated by Parnell Williams will take place and include notable left handed Forestville residents.

The panel will discuss the following:

* The impact of monetary policy and the economy on left handed vice presidents

* Costs and benefits of a left handed vice president

* How does international law affect a left handed vice president differently than a right handed vice president?

A Q&A segment will follow the panel discussion.

All left handed people are encouraged to attend.

Right handed people are certainly welcome but are not encouraged to attend. Seating is limited.

March 19, 2016

Newsdesk 01

From the Forestville NewsDesk.

Dateline Saturday March 19, 2016. Alan Boardman reporting.

Fortune Teller


Forestville resident Mora Casabian recently canceled her subscription to Fortune Teller Magazine, complaining to friends she said, “It reads me while I read it.”


Recently, a suspicious looking car drove down a suspicious looking road and passed a suspicious-looking person in a highly suspicious section of Forestville, police said late Friday.

The car drove off, the person walked away but the road remains at large. Apparently no one was hurt during the incident.

Unknown Relic Remains Safely Unknown


An unknown historic relic that has gone undiscovered remains unknown and undiscovered, according to Forestville historian Elgin Plinth.

Mr. Plinth speaking at the Forestville Historical Society intimated that he does not know what the artifact is or where it is, but he is close to finding it.

Woman Dissatisfied with Book


Libby Baggins visited Borders and purchased a book called Sketchbook and was disappointed. “I thought it would contain famous sketches and drawings, but when I brought it home and opened it I discovered that every page was completely blank. Who sells a book with blank pages?” she asked.

Correction to the article, Unknown Relic Remains Safely Undiscovered:

It was stated that Mr. Plinth did not know where the artifact is, but he plans on finding it soon.

This should be corrected to read:
A man in Plainville did find the relic and Mr. Plinth plans on stealing it from him soon.

Moreover, the statement:
An unknown historic relic that has gone undiscovered…
Should be changed to:
An unknown relic that has absolutely no historical significance has gone undiscovered due to lack of interest by archaeologists…

Speed of Sound

speed of sound

Lastly, I am not sure I like the idea of these hypersonic passenger jets they are developing. How do you carry on a conversation when traveling faster than the speed of sound?


Doomsday Clock Coming to Forestville

January 27, 2016
Doomsday Clock

Doomsday Clock

The Doomsday Clock, used to measure the countdown to global catastrophe and the World’s End, is coming to The American Clock & Watch Museum in the Bristol section of Forestville in the spring.

DSCN7029This is the first public exhibition of the clock and it is expected that devotees and fans will make the pilgrimage to the area. The Doomsday Clock Exposition will last three days and visitors can expect an increased level of security at the museum.

The clock has been stuck at three minutes to midnight since January of 2015 so horologists (persons skilled in the art or science of measuring time) and clock watchers alike fear there is a problem with the minute hand. So, they plan to rewind the clock, oil the gears and remove the dust while it is here.

This has been a week of coups for Forestville and Bristol. Last week it was learned that the Shroud of Turin may be brought to Dee’s Cleaners & Laundromat on Farmington Avenue by The Holy See for a cleaning, and late yesterday the Forestville Historical Society discovered a copy of The Declaration of Independence will be sent to them to be spell checked.


Forestville Resident To Give Lecture About Telephone Poles

January 14, 2016

Lecture Series

The Forestville Lecture Series presents a lecture by local resident Chauncey Meebs this Friday at the Forestville Historical Society.

Mr. Meebs will discuss and present detailed information about the telephone poles in Forestville. He has spent a lifetime cataloging every telephone pole in The Ville. How tall they are. How many there are and where they come from.

The event begins with a buffet dinner from 5:30PM to 6:30PM with the lecture to follow. The cost for the dinner is twenty bucks. For just the lecture it is ten bucks, but only five bucks if you are willing to help clean up.

The Forestville Lecture Series is presented by the Warren G. Harding Society of Forestville, which offers lectures on a wide and diverse range of topics by local eminent authorities.