Forestville Sasquatch Gives Tourists the Finger

December 26, 2015
Welcome to Forestville

Welcome to Forestville

There is a Sasquatch living here in Forestville and he is known to locals as the Forestville Sasquatch.

Well, a tourist claims she and her daughter encountered the elusive beast along the Pequabuck River near the bridge by Nuchie’s last week.

While waiting for the light to change Martha Mapes spotted the hairy unkempt creature bent down and sipping water from the river. However, before they could snap a photo the Sasquatch stood up and gave them the middle finger. “I was shocked! I thought the Forestville Sasquatch was friendly,” the single mother said.

The Forestville Sasquatch has a reputation for making obscene gestures. Last year while a resident tried to take his picture he turned to the camera and grabbed his crotch. Another time he blew raspberries at some guys fishing when they got their lines tangled.

Animal behaviorists say the 8 foot biped does it to intimidate or humiliate gawkers. “I found that animals, generally speaking, use the same strategies as humans when they want someone to f*** off,” said Roman Archer, an animal behaviorist. “Were these people expecting a 650 pound hominid to blow them a kiss?”

The Forestville Sasquatch has not been seen since the incident and is believed to have made his way to his winter feeding grounds. Residents expect him to return late in the spring fully prepared to insult and taunt onlookers.