Another Nor’Easter Coming to Forestville But First…

March 21, 2018

A Winter Storm Warning is in effect for the village of Forestville today as a nor’easter is bearing down on the ville. This is the first nor’easter since the last the last nor’easter. How much snow is expected? We will let you know right after this message from the State of Connecticut Tourism Division.

Are you considering a move? Then consider the state of Connecticut!

The state of Connecticut has a great moderate climate, four seasons and plenty of hills, all complimentary.

Sure, other states my brag about highway projects that finish within one generation, lower gasoline taxes, and less regulation, but Connecticut is the only state that has four different vowels and four syllables. So, while other states may have better schools, reduced liability costs, and lower taxes. And while other states may have shorter names, the state of Connecticut offers you a great view of trees! Did you know the leaves change color in the fall too?

So, come to Connecticut. We are half-way between Boston and New York City!

A major nor’easter has its sights set on Forestville and Bristol so a Winter Storm Warning is in effect for Forestville and Bristol for Wednesday and into early Thursday.

Satellite images show a weather event will happen today and result in a significant accumulation of snow so roads will have to be plowed. We will let you know which roads will be plowed, and how much snow is expected right after this.

You’ve just had a hard day at work and now it’s time to unwind.

Why not crack open a can of Schlock Beer?

Schlock Beer; No flavor, no taste, just schlock. Because sometimes you just want to get drunk and you don’t care how!

In case you missed it: A massive winter storm is headed east so the National Weather Service has issued a Winter Storm Warning for the entire village of Forestville, Bristol and the state of Connecticut!

Snow is expected to fall from the sky and land on the ground resulting in the roads having to be plowed with driveways, and sidewalks to be shoveled too.

The wind will be from the east and then the northwest, but later from the south and then the north. The causes of wind, which roads are to be plowed and how much snow is expected are coming up. But first this:

You haven’t been able to sleep for weeks and you’re tired.

You’ve tried everything but nothing seems to work. Well now there is hope, hope in the form of a little tablet called, Coma.

Coma, the sleep tablet, provides a state of deep, prolonged unconsciousness.

Contrary to common belief Coma is not a poison.

And, while it’s not an “illegal” drug it should not be used by women that are pregnant, lactating mothers or people that are not mentally fit.

Coma, the sleep tablet, is a long-term sleep solution resulting in excessive sedation, amnesia and brain activity that could be considered “unreliable”.

60 million Americans suffer from a sleep disorder, why should you be one of them?

Think Coma, a long term medical answer to a short-term medical problem.

To recap, a snowstorm of biblical proportions will batter the entire village of Forestville, Bristol, the state of Connecticut and New England Wednesday, Thursday and maybe forever!

This storm will result in massive power outages, death, general chaos and the region being wiped from the map!

What cities and towns will no longer exist? Who will lose power? Who will die? What roads will be plowed? What does snow look like and how much snow is expected and when are still to come. Plus, traffic and a funny cat story but first these words from…


Tours of City Hall

March 2, 2018

Guided tours of Bristol City Hall are now available.

Weekday guided tours leave from the Forestville Post Office at 10 a.m. with a 2.9 mile walk to Bristol City Hall located at 111 North Main Street.

Self-Guided Tours are available Monday through Friday beginning at 9:00 a.m. from the north entrance, and usually take 5 minutes. Ten minutes if you stop to talk to someone.

What Will You See?

* The door to the Assessor’s Office
* Two stairwells
* The great hallway where it is claimed George Washington slept here

What Will You Learn?

* The mayor’s office is soundproof, and was at one-time idea proof too

What You Will Not See?

* Cone of Decision
* Chamber of Seclusion
* Great Orb of Influence

One Last Thing Before the Last Thing

* Food is available for tourists from specialty vending machines

Facts About City Hall

* Dedicated September 14, 1963
* 1,500 people attended the dedication most of whom are now dead
* City Hall will never be on the National Register of Historic Places

Residents Looking Forward to Next Water Main Break

January 14, 2018

A recent rash of water main breaks in Bristol and Forestville disrupted traffic, and resulted in a school closing.

Melody Meadows, a single mom of two young girls, recently moved to the area near Pine Lake and has become accustomed to the news about broken water pipes during her abbreviated time as a resident, “There were six or seven water main breaks in rapid succession, so the kids and I thought they were just part of everyday life in Bristol. We are a little disappointed that there hasn’t been one in a few weeks though,” she observed.

Yorick Besch believes the presence of water officials in his neighborhood is reassuring because it is a crime deterrent. “It was frustrating not having access to water, but at least no one was trying to rob the local convenience store because the Bristol Water Department was here repairing the break,” he said.

Water officials say extremely cold weather is the likely culprit for the broken pipes and the discolored water too.

The broken pipes created a great deal of news for the Mum City so the Chamber of Commerce is urging the municipality to provide tours of the water main breaks in the spring. “Due to the news generated they should be marketed as significant cultural exhibits. Tourists enjoy unique attractions and a bus tour of these places would be great for the community, ” the chamber said in a statement.

Funding Changes To Impact Tourism in Bristol and the State

July 20, 2016


Governor Malloy recently announced budget-cutting goals that affect all state agencies. Among those facing cutbacks is the Connecticut Office of Tourism (COT). Parcheesi grandmaster and COT director Randy Fiveash has identified several places to meet the lower budget targets.

One is to replace the welcome center in Danbury with a push-button kiosk featuring the voice of Siri.

Advertising for the state will focus on less expensive media such as radio and the use of town criers. To save costs on ink and printing, the long slogan, “Connecticut – Still Revolutionary” will be replaced by a cat emoji. “Everyone likes cats,” explains Fiveash.

cat 01

Grants to tourist destinations like Mystic are also threatened. In response, Mystic Aquarium’s president plans changes like shorter hours of operation, replacing staff with trained seals, as well as combining the alligator and shark tanks and hoping for the best.

Since the large old ships at Mystic Seaport require expensive maintenance, their director is shelving them in favor of smaller, replica boats in an upcoming exhibit entitled, “Dingeys of the American Revolution”.

Fiveash’s plan includes reducing the number of towns they promote in official visitors’ guides to save on printing costs and focus their efforts on Connecticut’s “jewels.” “We must accept that many cities in the state are plain boring, or reflect badly on the state — like Bridgeport.”

Bristol Bureau of Tourism (BBT) spokesman Laura Mums is anxious to make Bristol one of those jewels. “Bristol has amazing museums and a nature center. One thing we wanted to add was the world’s largest rubber band. Unfortunately, the State hasn’t funded this project due to the budget problem and concerns we’d use it to fire spit balls at New Britain.”

Hide and Seek Championships Coming to Forestville

May 23, 2016

2016 Hide & Seek 02

The 2016 Hide and Seek New England Regionals will be held in Forestville the first weekend in August, according to tournament organizers.

“Due to the vast amount of empty buildings Forestville is perfect,” boasted tournament director Archibald Lafferty. “The number of businesses leaving Connecticut has given rise to numerous empty buildings to hide in, making the state the obvious choice for the championships,” he added.

Hide and seek is a children’s game where players close their eyes and count to a specific number while the other players hide. The last person to be found by the seeker is the winner.

Last year’s winner at nationals was Johnny Piazza, whom no one could find. Unfortunately he has yet to receive the award since his whereabouts are still unknown.

The Forestville Tourism Association said players of all ages from the six New England states will stay in Forestville, giving a jolt to local restaurants, lodging and transportation during the three day event.

The underground economy expects an increase in business as well, “In addition to the state sales taxes, local governments, legitimate businesses and those of us hiding in the shadows can expect with labor, income and consumption, overall growth of two to five percent for the month approximately,” said Tanya from Downtown, a known women of ill repute.

Players to Watch:

Belinda Bocori: Extraordinary hiding skills, stealth like footwork and surprising counting abilities, Bocori easily toppled her opponents in Rhode Island to qualify.

Enzo Hernandez: Blessed with natural athleticism, he is able to quickly hide and just as quickly seek too. With a mind for the game, Enzo burst on to the scene during his performance at the Kick the Can Championships last year.

Cheryl Watson: With her constant glaring, taunting and utterance of profanities aimed at opponents, judges and spectators alike, the brash Ms. Watson uses anger to her advantage to destroy opponents.

Vacant Lot Fest 2016

May 19, 2016


Vacant Lot Fest is returning to Forestville on Saturday July 9th!

The popular event, sponsored by the Forestville Tourism Association (FTA), is a one day celebration of the vacant lots in the village, and is attended by a loyal and dedicated fan base. “I went last year and it was awesome to see all those empty, neglected lots in total disrepair,” said John Singer, a vacant lot enthusiast from Southington, who met his wife at the 2012 Fest.

Heather Ross, director of the event for FTA, likens the devotion of the Vacant Lot fandom to Trekkies – those overzealous, obsessive followers of Star Trek. “Just like Trekkies they come here and know every minute detail about every unattended parcel. From plant growth to toxics it’s incredible.”

This year will include never-before-seen items gathered from the unsightly landscapes for display, including litter, solid waste and a wide variety of dirt, sand and silt.

The vacant lots of Forestville can be discovered with a walking tour provided by Alex Chipley, an empty lot historian. He will bring the lots back to life with history, trivia and local lore. The tour will leave from in front of the post office at 6PM and is expected to take two hours. “Nothing like seeing that last vacant lot just before dusk,” Mr. Chipley said.

Tickets can be obtained from the Forestville Tourism Association if you plead or grovel.

Walking Tours of Academy Street

December 31, 2015
Academy Street

Academy Street

The Forestville Tourism Association provides walking tours of Academy Street, the last Sunday of every month at 3 p.m.

“I show them both stop signs, the fire hydrants and the sidewalk; the cracks too if there is time. It’s a lot of fun!” said Heather Ross, one of the guides.

Looking south.

Sometimes the cracks are discussed.

Academy Street is one of Forestville’s oldest and trusted roads. The street is in good shape and has shown to have dependable topography making it a driving and walking favorite.

Additional sites featured are the trees lining the sidewalk, the grass and the telephone poles that adorn both sides of the roadway.

Tickets are 5 bucks for adults 4 bucks for children under the age of one. Residents of Academy Street can do the tour for free provided they show a lease agreement or a deed to their property.

Tickets can be purchased in advance at the Forestville Tourism Association or the Forestville Historical Society.