Forestville Man Reading Dante’s Inferno

March 15, 2015
Inferno

Inferno

Hank Lee Bowers is currently reading the literary classic Dante’s Inferno. However, the crafty mechanic said he is bored by the prose, “I remember why I feigned reading this stupid thing in high school. It’s translated from another language into English and is like watching a black and white foreign movie badly overdubbed man.”

The 14th century poem tells of Dante’s guided journey through hell and is regarded as a classic by academics and laymen, but Bowers is not impressed, “It’s certainly a classic. A classic waste of my time.”

Mr. Bowers is reading Dante’s epic because his girlfriend of two months purchased the book as a means of enlightenment. “Oh I am plenty enlightened. Things are really coming into focus for sure.”

Uh-oh.

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Deavers Halloween Party

November 4, 2010

There is a great divide socially and economically when it comes to living in Forestville, you either live north of the railroad tracks or south of the railroad tracks, there is no in between.  However, when it comes to a party at the home of John and Barbara Deavers, Forestville’s most opulent couple, it does not matter where you reside in the village because for that brief moment we are all one.

It seemed as though all of Forestville attended the Deavers annual Halloween Party at their palatial estate last Saturday night.  The guest list included Audra and Solomon Weeks, Cookie Gension, Juan Gutierrez, Kletis Denim, Mitchell Luby and a date, Hank Lee Bowers and his wife Lisa, Mike Hill, Al Tunis, Bob Kneeper, Mr. and Mrs. Youch, Joe Kapperstein, Dewey Jasper, Norbert Pendleton, Zack Flanders, party crashers Maria Malvado and Silas Minutia, Larson Canover, Heather Ross and her husband Rick and countless others.

Unfortunately John Deavers was not in attendance because he was away on business, and what a shame because he missed another fantastic party thrown by his wife.  Their home was decorated in Halloween garb and the band hired for the night played a steady soundtrack of rock-n-roll hits from the 60s, 70s and 80s.

The best costume prize, which is very popular and brings out the best in Forestville’s residents creativity, went to garage mechanic Hank Lee Bowers.  Mr. Bowers attended the party dressed as a breathalyzer.

At the end of the evening Mrs. Deavers assured me their annual Christmas Party will go on without Mr. Deavers as he will be away.  She will conduct their carol sing through the streets of Forestville…north and south of the railroad tracks.


Forestville car mechanic warns Hamas ‘stop burning US flags it’s so 80s’

December 30, 2008
Car mechanic wants to know why guns are not fired in the air as a form of protest anymore.

Car mechanic wants to know why guns are not fired in the air as a form of protest anymore.

American flags are burning in the Middle East once again due to the recent violence in the Gaza Strip, and auto mechanic Hank Lee Bowers has had enough “We get it.  You don’t like us but knock it off.  The flag burning thing is so old.”

 

Surrounded by colleagues near his work bay, the 38 year old grease monkey exclaimed, “Whatever happened to just shooting their guns in the air?  It’s stupid but at least it was original.”

 

Before completing his work duties for the day Mr. Bowers warned, “Hezbollah, Hamas, al Qaida the whole lot of em, come up with something new or we won’t be offended anymore.”

 

AB