Hillary hates her supporters? — Hillary begs to differ!

October 29, 2016

hillary-03

Recent revelations from Hillary Clinton campaign e-mails released by Wikileaks have many supporters upset at how they and their causes were insulted by Mrs. Clinton and her staff behind their backs. Mrs. Clinton recently spoke to reassure those supporters.

“I don’t understand the big deal,” she said at the presser. “When I call my supporters naive, pompous freaks, I mean that in the best possible sense of the term.”

“When we called Catholics ‘severely backwards,’ we mean, ‘backwards awesome!’ And that bit about me calling the pope a ‘middle ages dictator’; seriously, who doesn’t love middle ages dictators? I mean, hello! King Arthur was one.”

One supporter didn’t see the problem either. Karen Blaylock remarked, “When she calls us ‘radical’ and ‘dumb’, I feel like she totally gets me.”

The election is Tuesday November 8, 2016. Stay informed with Alan Boardman’s semi-comprehensive election coverage.


Forestville mother breaks pencil, delayed in grocery shopping

July 9, 2009
Stop & Shop, Forestville, CT (File photo)

Stop & Shop, Forestville, CT (File photo)

Yesterday afternoon Karen Blaylock broke her pencil while writing her family’s grocery list, according to a source close to the situation.  It is not known if she sharpened the broken pencil or discarded it for a pencil in her pencil cup.  Due to the mishap, Mrs. Blaylock arrived late at the Stop & Shop Deli, so she was unable to taste the various free sampling of cheeses that were on display.

AB


Stay at home mom burns dinner blames Rachael Ray, husband, kids, grocer…you

January 14, 2009

General Electric Stove

General Electric Stove

Karen Blaylock burned the roast she was cooking early Tuesday evening because she forgot to set the timer.  Family members were clearly disappointed, “I don’t know what is going on with her lately,” said her eldest son Charlie.  This is the second time this year in which Blaylock has burned a dinner.

 

 

 

 

In a twenty-minute expletive-filled rant, Mrs. Blaylock blamed the miscue on her husband, the kids, the grocer, her mother in law, Rachael Ray, General Electric and everyone who reads this blog.

 

The blunder proved costly as the family of five resorted to take-out for dinner.  “At least we knew she couldn’t burn that,” said one family member who wished to remain anonymous.

 

The potty-mouthed mother of three expressed her frustration with her family’s disappointment Saturday morning, “I don’t need their shit.”

 

Mr. Blaylock understands his wife’s frustration, “I suppose I could have helped set the table, but I was tired after a long day at the office.  So I decided, ‘screw it’ and parked my ass on the couch instead.”

 

The family has decided to not give up on Mrs. Blaylock yet, allowing her to go ahead with plans for a family meal on Saturday with all the trimmings.  But family officials would not rule out “Meals on Wheels” or “Dream Dinners” as a possible next step.

 

When asked to comment, Mrs. Blaylock suggested this reporter fornicate with a three-toed sloth.